Choose
by sailor8t
Summary: Season 6. When Willow gets lost in dark magicks, Buffy saves her.
1. Chapter 1

Buffy and Her Friends belong to Joss Whedon and a bunch of suits. I'm altering their realities for fun, not profit, as I own nothing and have the credit report to prove it. Original characters, on the other hand, belong to me, so ask if you want to play with them.

* * *

Willow threw herself onto Buffy. "Please help me. Please," she sobbed.

It was a few moments before Buffy's arms closed around her friend. She was conflicted. Dawn was hurt and it was Willow's fault. Buffy herself was hurting, and that, too, lay at Willow's feet. For all that, it was _Willow_, who always...and when the Slayer thought that word, her hands settled on her friend's shaking back. "Ssshh," she comforted. "We'll fix it, we always do."

Hours later, Dawn slept in her bed. Willow was turning restlessly and moaning a low keen. Buffy sat cross-legged in the dark on her bed. She was exhausted, but the sound Willow made raised the hair on her neck.

She got out of bed and headed down the hallway. Buffy checked on Dawn and found her still on her back with the casted arm resting on a pile of pillows.

Willow was a different story. She huddled, uncovered, in the middle of the bed. She rocked herself and made that noise. Buffy touched her shoulder and Willow froze.

"Wills, what's wrong? God, you're freezing." Buffy reached for the discarded comforter, pulled it over her friend.

"I want it, Buffy. I need it."

"No you don't." Buffy laid across Willow's back to comfort and warm her. "You promised me."

"It hurts not to."

"I know. Just breathe. In. Out. In. Out."

"It hurts."

"It'll stop, Wills, I promise."

"Buffy?"

Before she could answer, Willow was pushing her up, away. Buffy followed her to the bathroom, pulled Willow's hair back from her face when she fell to her knees in front of the toilet.

It felt to both of them that they stayed there forever. When Willow's heaves finally stopped, Buffy dampened a washcloth and wiped Willow's face. She rinsed it out and set it aside while she pulled Willow up to sit on the closed toilet. "Shower or bed?"

"Shower, maybe it'll help me get warm."

"Okay." Buffy started the shower, adjusted the water temperature. "Need help?"

Willow shook her head.

"Yell if you do," Buffy told her, and left.

Ten minutes later, she was back. "Wills, you okay?"

When she didn't get an answer, she entered the bathroom. The shower was still running, but she didn't see her friend. Buffy pulled back the shower curtain and steam billowed out. She leaned in and turned off the water and saw Willow curled into a tiny ball in the corner of the tub. She was red and shaking. Buffy was gentle when she pulled Willow to her feet and out of the tub.

Buffy wrapped a towel around Willow. "Willow?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah." Willow looked everywhere but at Buffy.

"What's going on?"

"It's just the magic." Willow tried to downplay her situation.

"It didn't used to do this to you."

Willow shrugged and Buffy let it pass.

"I put clean pajamas out for you. And I changed the sheets."

Willow tried to smile. "Thanks."

"C'mon, let's get you back to bed."

Willow let Buffy lead her into the bedroom and help her into her pajamas. She sat obediently on the bed while Buffy brushed her hair, the whole time staring at her fingers interlaced in her lap. Still only because that was what she concentrated on.

"Think you can sleep now?" Buffy asked, sliding off the bed to stand beside it.

Willow turned and looked up at her. "I'm so, so sorry."

"Not a good time, Will."

"It's never a good time. But I need to tell you anyway. I'm not sorry you're back. I missed you so much. No matter what happens, I'm happy that you're alive."

Buffy tried to smile but it came out as a grimace. She couldn't think of any answer that didn't sound angry or stupid. She shook her head and backed away from the bed. "Try to get some sleep."

"Will you stay? Please?"

Buffy closed her eyes, rocked back and forth on her feet a few times.

"Please?" Willow repeated.

"I'll be right here," Buffy relented, pointed at the armchair by the window. She knew she wasn't going to get any sleep.

"Thank you." Willow climbed into the fresh sheets. Buffy turned out the light before settling into the chair.

Willow quickly fell into a light, restless sleep. Buffy watched her twitch and listened for Dawn and wondered just when everything in her life had gone to pieces. Things hadn't been right before she died, she remembered, and coming back had been worse. Through it all, Willow had stuck up for her. She had been there, and continued to take care of things without being asked. Without asking for anything in return.

"It's my fault," Buffy whispered, while Willow frowned in her sleep. My fault, she repeated to herself, that Willow had followed this path, that she had stayed in Sunnydale, that she had ever found magick. Or that it had found Willow. And that meant this was her fault, too, that Willow was sick and strung out and desperate for something. It meant, too, that she had to fix it. Buffy watched Willow twitch and flail in the sheets and felt her anger drain away. Tonight was the first time Willow had asked her for anything, and Buffy resolved to herself that she wouldn't fail her friend. Her best friend.

Willow began to whimper, and Buffy went to the bed. She sat on the edge, stroked Willow's hair. "Sshh," she soothed. "It'll be okay."

Willow became more restless and Buffy continued to comfort her. Despite her efforts, Willow sat bolt upright, sweating. "Tara?" she asked, in a small, sleepy voice.

"It's all right, Wills," Buffy repeated.

"Oh."

That syllable nearly broke Buffy's heart. "Lay back down, you should be sleeping," she instructed, and was surprised when Willow did as she was told. Buffy moved back to the chair.

"Buffy."

"What?"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Willow sat up suddenly and swung her feet over the bedside.

"You can't sleep like that."

Willow ignored her, got to her feet and headed for the bathroom. Buffy sighed, then got up and followed her.

She cleaned Willow up and put her back in bed. Then she went downstairs. The clock told her Dawn would need her pill soon. Buffy fixed three glasses of ginger ale. She took the bottle of pills and slipped them in her pocket, then got the drinks and went back upstairs.

Dawn was whimpering. Buffy put two of the glasses on the dresser. She crossed the room and put the third on Dawn's bedside. She leaned over Dawn and stroked her cheek. "Dawnie, wake up."

"Huh? What?" Dawn asked. She tried to sit up and whined at the pain in her arm.

"I brought your pills." Buffy helped her sit up. She pulled the bottle from her pocket and tapped one into her palm. She offered it to Dawn, then the glass. Dawn drained the glass, handed it back, let out a huge belch.

"'Scuse me."

"Sure." Buffy helped Dawn lay back down. Her eyes closed almost immediately. Buffy watched until she was sure Dawn was asleep.

She picked up the two glasses in one hand on her way out the door. In Willow's room, she put both on the nightstand. Willow had kicked the blankets off again and was a shivering ball in the center of the bed. Buffy covered her and took one glass with her to the chair.

She leaned back and drank some soda before sitting the glass on the floor. Then she watched Willow and thought about the past months. 'How did I miss this?' she asked herself. 'It was happening every day and I never saw it. She wasn't hiding anything. Why didn't I see?'

Buffy laid her head back and closed her eyes. She saw Willow on the day they met, and Buffy's heart ached at the loss of Willow's innocence. She thought about all they had been through, all Willow had done for her without hesitation, how quickly Willow forgave her. For running away. For dying. Twice. For every stupid, self-centered thing she had ever done. She thought about a life without Willow in it, and had to stop before panic overwhelmed her. She opened her eyes and watched Willow. For the first time since her resurrection, Buffy allowed herself to feel. She closed her eyes and focused on Willow. From their meeting, Willow had been there for Buffy, and the whole time, Buffy had done her best to keep Willow at arm's length. Everyone else she loved, Buffy pushed further away. But Willow...Buffy had been in love since laying eyes on the redhead. She had rationalized, lied, denied, and returned every time to Willow for comfort, understanding and support. The Slayer Buffy tried to hold so tightly in check inside herself had a word for the witch, too: Mine.

Buffy opened her eyes, watched Willow. Even now, sick as she was, Willow was beautiful to Buffy. Buffy decided then that she would tell Willow how she felt. About everything, but especially about her.

The decision didn't make her feel any better. Buffy sighed, laid her head back, and closed her eyes. She replayed her memories of Willow healthy and happy, and hoped she would see the redhead look that way again soon.

The phone woke her a few hours later. She was quick to answer it, instinctively noticing that the sun hadn't gotten to the tree line yet. "Hello."

"Buffy? How's Dawn?" Tara asked.

"She'll be okay."

"How are you? You sound exhausted."

"I'll be okay."

"Do you want some help? I can watch Dawn for a while."

"Um," Buffy stalled, debating. "I'm not sure, Tara."

"You need some rest, too."

Buffy sighed. "Willow's here."

"How is she?"

"I'm more worried about her than Dawn," Buffy admitted.

"Oh, Buffy," Tara said quietly. "I'll be there soon."

"Are you sure?"

"N-no. But I'll come anyway."

"Thank you."


	2. Chapter 2

Tara let herself into the house. When she didn't find anyone on the first floor, she went upstairs. Buffy's room was empty, the bed made but rumpled. Dawn was deeply asleep, and Tara sat beside her and stroked the fingers that protruded from the cast. She stood, leaned over and kissed Dawn's forehead, then straightened the covers.

Tara stood in the hallway outside the room she had shared with Willow. She watched her ex twitch and whimper and fought the urge to comfort her. Buffy came to her, and they hugged without speaking. When Buffy pulled away, Tara told her, "Get some sleep."

"Thank you."

"Anything you want me to do?"

Buffy shook her head. "I've just been keeping an eye on them. Dawn will need another pill in a couple hours."

"Okay."

Buffy slid by Tara and walked into Dawn's room. She watched her sister for a minute before going to her own room and closing the door.

Tara stood in the doorway and watched Willow. Her heart ached for all of them, but especially for Willow. She wondered if Willow was ready to listen about the magicks. Willow spasmed, and Tara crossed the room. When Willow cried out, Tara touched her cheek tentatively, then drew back in shock at Willow's energy. They once complemented each other. Now Tara was repelled by the wrongness of it. "Oh, Willow, what have you done?" she asked softly while her heart, impossibly, broke again.

Willow's eyes flew open at Tara's touch. She watched the emotions play over the blonde's face and wondered whether Tara had touched her for the last time. She lay and fought nausea and wanted to ignore Tara's question.

"There's g-ginger ale," Tara offered. "It w-w-w-will help your st-stomach."

Willow pushed herself up and took the glass from Tara. She was careful not to touch Tara's fingers. "Thanks," she whispered. Willow drank enough to wet her dry mouth. She avoided looking at Tara. She was ashamed all over again.

"This has to st-st-st-stop."

Willow looked resolutely at the far wall. "You think I don't know that?" she

croaked, then sipped the flat, watered down soda again.

"No, W-will, I don't think you d-d-do."

The stutter on her name, the first time Tara had stammered her name in forever, stabbed through Willow. It focused all of her pain into one incandescent flame. She realized for the first time how deeply she had wounded Tara, and shame poured through her again. She willed herself not to cry so Tara wouldn't be tempted to touch her and be repulsed again. "You don't have to stay."

"What's it going to take, Willow?" Tara struggled to keep her voice even.

"It's done."

"It's n-n-never done. It's part of you." _She still doesn't get it._ Tara wondered how much more her heart could break before it stopped beating.

"I'm done," Willow repeated.

"So am I," Tara answered. She got up and left the room. She couldn't watch Willow suffer without wanting to help, but Willow didn't want her help. Willow wouldn't even look at her. Physical contact was out of the question. Touching Willow made Tara feel dizzy and nauseated and unclean. Even if it was the smallest fraction of how Willow felt, Tara couldn't bear it. She loved Willow, and wondered again how everything had gone so wrong. At least she didn't have to bear this alone. Their family, the one Willow had given her, would help both of them. Tara found herself in the kitchen, and leaned against the refrigerator, welcoming the cool feeling on her forehead. For the first time Tara thought that things between she and Willow couldn't be fixed. She covered her mouth to stifle the sob that rose from that thought.

Willow set the glass aside. She curled around her legs and rested her forehead on her knees. She wanted to cry but she felt empty. Tara was gone and Willow was nearly certain that she would never return. Part of her was angry that Tara had walked away from her again, and another part mocked her own weakness for wanting Tara. She began to shake, and wasn't sure whether it was withdrawal or a reaction to Tara's touch or just a way to feel.

She stayed like that for hours. Tara regularly looked in on her from the doorway, but said nothing. Willow felt her presence but refused to look again at the sadness in Tara's blue eyes. She was in that same position when Buffy returned.

Willow knew the Slayer was there before she put her hand on her shoulder. "Willow?"

"You shouldn't touch me."

"Why?" Buffy asked. She didn't move her hand away.

"I'm dirty."

"I haven't had a shower yet."

Willow snorted involuntarily, then asked, "How's Dawn?"

"She'll heal."

"Do you want me to leave?"

"This is your home."

"I'm sorry, Buffy."

"No, Wills, don't apologize. I'm the one who's sorry."

Willow turned her head to rest a cheek on her knee. She looked at Buffy, confusion showing on her face. "Why?"

"I should have known."

"I didn't even know, how could you?"

"I'm sorry, Willow."

Willow uncurled herself and slid to Buffy's side. She touched her shoulder tentatively. "Buffy?"

Buffy slid her arm around Willow's waist and laid her head on Willow's shoulder. Willow mimicked her, resting her cheek against the crown of Buffy's head. "I never want anything bad to happen to you, and it always does."

"This didn't happen, Buffy, I did it."

"Because of me."

"No. Because of me." Willow straightened up, turned Buffy's face toward her own. "I did this. I messed up like I always do. I thought I could handle everything, fix everything. I'm tired of everything being hard for us." She let go of Buffy's chin, slid her palm to her cheek. "I wanted us to be happy."

"You're here. You're okay. I'm happy," Buffy whispered. She leaned toward Willow, touched their lips together lightly.

"Buffy?" Willow's voice was high and panicked.

"Willow," Buffy answered quietly, and kissed her again, lightly, then again.

The third time, Willow leaned into the kiss.

It was slow and gentle and lasted longer than it seemed. Their lips parted but their faces stayed close.

"Buffy?" Willow asked again, in a whisper.

"Willow," Buffy answered, her fingertips gliding up Willow's cheek.

"What's happening?"

"I'm keeping you safe."

"Thank you, " Willow breathed, and moved her lips back to Buffy's. She was shaking again, and felt tears trying to start.

Buffy felt the tremor, and pulled Willow into her lap. She held her there as they kissed, and when the kiss finished, Willow lowered her head to Buffy's shoulder. Buffy held her, rubbing small circles where her hands held Willow against her. Willow shook and trembled against her, and Buffy felt the redhead's tears slide down her neck. She rocked Willow, comforting them both, until the redhead was still and her breathing even. "Wills?"

There was no answer, so Buffy stood, turned, and laid her friend back in the bed and covered her. She stroked Willow's hair once, then kissed her forehead. She left the room quietly, leaving the door half open behind her.

Buffy went downstairs, where Dawn was dozing and watching cartoons on the sofa. She passed into the kitchen. Tara was fixing dinner. Buffy leaned against the counter and watched. "You okay?" she asked.

"No." Tara didn't look up from the onions she was chopping.

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault."

"Thank you for this."

"It's what family does."

"I wasn't sure you'd still want to be part of my family. I've been doing a lousy job of taking care of everybody."

"Not just you. All of us." Tara continued to chop, ignoring the tears running down her cheeks. "We're so busy trying not to bother each other."

"I didn't know."

"I didn't tell you. I didn't tell anyone. I just let her. I can't do that anymore." Tara set the knife down. "I can't let her." She picked up the chopping board, turned to the stove and pushed the onions into the waiting oil.

Buffy watched her without answering. Tara continued fixing dinner. She added spices to the onions, then meat, then tomato sauce. Finally, she turned the heat down and covered the pot. She cleaned up, and was drying her hands on a towel before she looked at Buffy again. "I can't even touch her," she said, and burst into tears.

Buffy moved to Tara, and the taller blonde leaned into her. "She feels wrong," Tara sobbed.

Buffy didn't answer. She rubbed Tara's back until the witch was calm, let Tara go when she pulled away. "Thank you for everything," Buffy said quietly.

"What're we going to do?"

"Get through it somehow."

Tara bit her lip and nodded. Buffy squeezed Tara's arm lightly and backed away. "Can you stay tonight?"

"Um," Tara stalled.

"You can have my room. I don't want them here alone while I patrol."

"Okay."

"Thank you." Buffy hesitated a moment before asking, "Can you put the uninvite spell back on the house please?"

Tara looked at Buffy before asking, "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Ok." Tara turned back to the stove, removed the lid and stirred the sauce.

Buffy watched her close down, and left the room. She sat on the couch beside Dawn, who looked at her groggily. "Hey."

"Hey."

"How're you?"

"My arm hurts."

"Other than that."

"Mad."

"Yeah."

"Why'd she do it?"

"She's sick."

Dawn grunted.

"I don't understand, either."

They stared silently at the bright colors on the screen. Dawn leaned against Buffy, and soon fell asleep. Buffy dozed, too. They stayed like that until Tara came to rouse them for dinner.

After they ate, Buffy fixed a small plate and took it and a glass of milk up to Willow. She was still sleeping, but was flailing in the sheets. Buffy set the food down and sat on the edge of the bed. She stroked Willow's cheek with the back of her fingers and the witch immediately settled. After half a minute, she opened her eyes.

"Hey," Buffy greeted her.

Willow focused. "Hey," she croaked.

"Brought you some food."

"Don't think I can eat."

"Try?" Buffy asked.

Willow nodded and pulled herself up to sit. She closed her eyes and opened them slowly again. Buffy handed her the plate and fork. Willow tried to eat, but was shaking too badly to manage. Buffy took them back from Willow and offered Willow a forkful of spaghetti.

Willow obediently opened up and accepted the food. She chewed slowly for a long time before swallowing. When Buffy offered a second forkful, Willow shook her head.

"You've got to eat," Buffy urged.

"Later," Willow promised, and Buffy set the food aside.

"I'm going to patrol. Tara's downstairs with Dawn."

Willow's eyes closed again. "She hates me."

"She doesn't hate you, Wills."

"She should."

"No." Buffy's reached over and tucked hair behind Willow's ear, traced her jaw. Willow was perfectly still, savoring the slide of Buffy's fingers along her skin. "We can't hate you."

"Buffy, what's happening with us?"

"I can't stand it when you're hurting. I'm trying to fix it."

"I don't understand."

Buffy's hand stayed on Willow's face. "I love you, Willow. I want you to come back to me."

"I want to." Willow's voice was barely audible.

"Good." Buffy dropped her hand down Willow's neck, across her collarbone, down her arm. She picked up another forkful of spaghetti, offered it.

Willow, still dazed, opened her mouth. Buffy fed her half of what she'd brought up before Willow refused to continue. She laid back and closed her eyes. "Let me know when you get back."

"Sure."


	3. Chapter 3

It was 4:30 a.m. before Buffy returned. She stuck her head into each room before heading to Willow's. Tara was asleep in Buffy's bed, her arms holding a pillow to her chest. Dawn was snoring lightly. Willow was staring at the ceiling. Buffy crossed to the bed. "I'm back."

"Good."

"How you doing?"

"Okay."

"Did you keep dinner down?"

Willow shook her head.

"Okay, why don't I fix us a snack and you take a shower."

"Okay."

Buffy brought ice cream, sodas and pretzels up. She stuck her head in the bathroom. "You okay?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

She went back into the bedroom, changed the sheets again, then went back to her own room to get pajamas. She got in and out without disturbing Tara. Willow was sitting on the bed when Buffy returned, and she was still there when Buffy came out from her shower.

Buffy told Willow about patrol and persuaded her to eat a couple spoonfuls of ice cream and drink half a Coke. When she finished her snack, she put the tray on the floor. She turned out the light and climbed under the covers beside Willow. Buffy reached for Willow, pulled her close. Willow turned onto her side and settled her head on Buffy's shoulder. Buffy kissed the top of her head. "I love you, Willow," she said quietly.

Willow pushed herself up. "I don't understand," she whispered.

Buffy held her gaze. "You will," she promised. "Lay down."

Willow lowered herself back to Buffy's shoulder. She tried to stay still so her friend could rest, but her limbs moved without regard to her brain's orders. The sky was light before she dozed. The Slayer held her and drifted off.

Buffy came up from sleep slowly. Willow was still holding on to her. One leg was thrown across Buffy's thighs, and her hand had slid under and up Buffy's shirt to cover her breast. Buffy took a quick breath when Willow adjusted her fingers, but made no effort to move. She lowered her face to the crown of Willow's head, inhaled Willow's scent. Her lips moved soundlessly, thanking the deities that nothing irrevocable had happened to any of them, but especially Willow.

Willow began whimpering. She separated from Buffy, and Buffy let her go. Willow rolled onto her other side, her back to Buffy. Buffy followed, cradled Willow against her front. "Shhh," she whispered. "You're safe. I've got you."

Willow stopped moving for a second. "Buffy?" she murmured.

"I'm right here." Buffy kissed behind Willow's ear.

"It wants me."

"It can't have you. You're mine."

Willow whimpered.

"I mean it, Wills. You stay right here with me."

Willow began to rock in Buffy's embrace.

"Fight it, Wills. You can do it. I'm right here." Buffy felt the tremors start. All that came from Willow's stiff form was an involuntary high-pitched whine. Buffy closed her eyes and focused on Willow. "Hang on, hang on. It'll be okay. I've got you."

Finally, it eased. Willow was sweating and shivering, and Buffy pulled the comforter over them. She continued to croon in Willow's ear, and felt her relax. She kept Willow cradled against her, occasionally murmured an endearment into her scalp.

It was noon before they woke again. Willow went to the bathroom and Buffy went downstairs. No one was home, but Tara left a note on the refrigerator that she had taken Dawn with her to the grocery store and to pick up some things from her dorm.

Buffy got a Diet Coke® and the leftover spaghetti from the refrigerator. She put the food in the microwave and tapped her foot impatiently while it heated. She pulled it out and went upstairs. She heard the shower running and set her food aside to check on Willow. When Willow didn't answer, Buffy pulled the shower curtain open enough to see Willow leaning against the wall. She heard her weeping, and, still in her pajamas, stepped in the shower. Again, she cradled Willow's back to her front, and let her friend cry.

With one hand, she reached for a washcloth and the soap. She kept her arms around Willow's waist and worked up a lather in the washcloth before returning the soap to the dish. She moved Willow's hair to one side and started with her neck, rubbing down her neck, across her shoulders, down her back, up her side, down and back up and arm, across her stomach, up that side to her other arm, across her chest. Willow's sobs had slowed to the occasional hiccup by the time Buffy went down and up her legs, between them. Buffy rinsed Willow's skin, then started on her hair. She washed and rinsed her hair, then turned off the shower.

She lifted Willow out of the tub and wrapped a towel around her before pushing her to sit on the toilet. "Stay."

Willow nodded and Buffy stepped back into the shower. She adjusted the water temperature before stripping her sodden pajamas. Buffy showered quickly. She wrapped a towel around herself before climbing out. She was relieved to see Willow where she had left her. Buffy turbaned a second towel over her hair and grabbed a towel for Willow's hair.

Buffy stood Willow up and snugged the towel around her. They went into Willow's room, and Buffy sat her down on the bed. "You gonna tell me?"

Willow stared at the floor.

Buffy shrugged. She crossed the room, got panties and clean pajamas for Willow. She put them on the bed beside the redhead. "Need help?"

"No."

"Okay. I'll be right back."

Buffy went to her room to dress in jeans and a t-shirt and comb her hair. When she returned to Willow's room, she was sitting where Buffy had left her.

"Willow?"

"What? Oh, sorry." Willow stood. She freed the towel and dried herself halfheartedly, then slowly dressed. Only then did she look at Buffy. "Um, can you do my hair?"

"Sure." Buffy was gentle and Willow was falling asleep when she finished. Buffy laid her back on the bed and covered her before leaving.

For the next week, only Buffy saw Willow. She was sick and weak and ashamed. Dawn was still angry and Tara couldn't bear to see her. Willow didn't want to see anyone, but tolerated Buffy. Buffy did her best to take care of Willow. She kept her clean, coaxed her to eat and tried unsuccessfully to get her to leave the bedroom.

When Buffy came in from patrol, she checked Tara and Dawn before going to Willow's room. As usual, the witch was awake. They talked for a few minutes before Buffy went to get a snack before showering.

Clean and full, she slid in beside Willow. Willow was shaking, and Buffy braced herself for a long night. Willow was worse, and Buffy was worried. Buffy wrapped herself around Willow's back. She waited until Willow had settled to tell her, "I'm really worried about you, Wills. I want to call Giles."

Willow didn't answer.

"Willow?"

"You'll do it no matter what I say," Willow answered in a monotone.

"No. Well, yeah."

"So do it."

"I don't know what else to do. You're not getting better. I can't lose you."

Willow didn't answer.

Buffy kissed the back of Willow's head. "I don't know what else to do," she repeated.

Willow twisted until she faced Buffy. "I'm sorry."

"No more sorries. I just want you to get better."

"I'm trying."

"I know," Buffy soothed. "We need to get some help. Giles will know what to do." She pushed away tears that began when Willow heard Giles' name. "What?"

"He's gonna yell at me again."

"No yelling. I promise."

"There should be lots of yelling. Giles should yell. Tara should yell. You should yell. Dawn should yell. Even Xander should yell."

"No yelling," Buffy reiterated.

"Tara's not gonna come back ever."

"She's here now."

"Not for me."

Buffy hesitated. "I'm sorry, Willow. I know it hurts. But I'm here. I love you and I'll be here."

"You keep saying that."

"What?"

"You love me."

"Yeah."

"What do you mean when you say that?"

"I'm not good with all that stuff, Will."

"What stuff?"

"Feelings. You know, relationships."

"Still not getting it."

Buffy drew a deep breath before saying anything. "I love you. I have since I met you. And I'm in love with you. When I realized it, you were with Tara, and I wouldn't mess that up for anything. And if you two can find a way to be together, I'll step aside. But I want."

She was cut off by Willow's lips.

Their kiss was slow and luxurious and when it finished, Buffy understood what poets wrote about.

"I love you too," Willow told her, and snuggled down on Buffy's chest.

Buffy wrapped her arms around her. "I need you to get better."

"I want to be better."

"So it's okay to call Giles?"

"Yeah," Willow said finally.

Buffy kissed the top of her head. "Thank you." She stroked Willow lightly, running one hand through her soft red hair and the other up and down her back, soothing her into sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Buffy was gone when Willow woke. Willow wrapped herself in her robe and headed for the shower. She met Tara in the hall. Tara was dressed.

"Are you f-feeling better?"

"A little." Willow couldn't meet Tara's eyes. She bit her lip.

"I'm glad."

"Um, I'm gonna take a shower."

"A-a-are you hungry?"

"No, thanks." Willow carefully passed Tara.

After her shower, Willow slowly dressed, then straightened up the room. Her efforts exhausted her. She sat in the armchair and closed her eyes. There was a knock at the door. Willow looked up to see Tara.

"C-can w-w-we t-t-talk?"

"Ok."

Tara crossed the room and sat on the trunk at the foot of the bed. She gathered her thoughts without looking at Willow.

Before she could speak, Willow told her, "I haven't cast."

"I know. That's not g-good."

"Huh?"

"You're a w-witch, W-will. N-not doing magick w-will make you sicker than doing d-d-dark magick."

"What am I supposed to do?"

Tara got up and crossed to the bookcase. She selected a volume and offered it to Willow. Willow accepted it and set it in her lap with a soft, "Thanks."

"I'm sorry I c-c-can't help you with it."

Willow looked directly at Tara for the first time. "Don't apologize to me, Tara. You don't have anything to be sorry about."

"I could have," Tara started

"Don't." Willow cut her off. "I messed it up." She held Tara's gaze. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I broke us up."

"Me, too," Tara said sadly.

"When you're ready, I want us to be friends."

Tara gave her a small smile. "We're friends, W-willow."

Willow smiled back. "Thank you."

The ensuing silence wasn't as awkward, but it drove Tara toward the door. "Buffy will be back in a few hours. If you need anything before th-then, call me."

"Thank you."

"You're w-welcome."

"Tara." Willow stopped her. "Are we over?" she asked when Tara turned toward her.

Tara closed her eyes and drew a deep, ragged breath. "I, um, I th-th-, oh, uh."

"Not that I blame you, you deserve somebody better for you than me. I'm really sorry for what I did. I never, ever set out to hurt you."

Tara nodded. She reached out and moved toward the door, paused when she touched it. She didn't trust her voice or her knees. Willow was so much of the past two years. There had been so much good, undone by a collection of moments of indifference and one willful act. But she knew that she could not offer her heart unreservedly to Willow again, and Tara pulled herself into the hallway, away from what she had once needed like oxygen. She knew this would be over some day, that it wouldn't hurt to breathe, that every thought wouldn't burn through her like a needle. But right now, all she could do was drop her gaze to the floor and back away.

Willow, exhausted again, laid her head against the back of the chair. Her eyes were glued to the point she last saw Tara, and for one final aching moment she believed Tara would return. Then Willow closed her eyes and let the tears drip. She drifted off and that was where Buffy found her when she limped in early at 2:30 a.m.

Dawn and Tara were sleeping together in Buffy's bed. It was obvious to Buffy that Tara had been crying. She sighed and backed out of the room without getting her clothes. Buffy's anxiety level rose when she found Willow had also been crying. She leaned on the arm of the chair, relieving her twisted ankle and knee. She stroked Willow's hair and listened to her breathe. "Wills, you wanna move to bed?" Buffy kissed around Willow's ear.

Willow hummed, and Buffy saw the beginning of a smile.

"I can't carry you tonight."

Willow's eyes opened immediately. "What happened? Where are you hurt? Do you need stitches?" Her hands reached for Buffy.

"No, no, I just landed funny and twisted my ankle. I'm ok." Buffy caught Willow's face in both hands and held her gaze. "Honest," she promised. "I didn't want to take any unnecessary risks." She leaned down and kissed Willow lightly.

Willow's fingers skated over Buffy. Satisfied when she found nothing, Willow exhaled.

"You ok?" Buffy asked.

"Now."

It took a moment but Buffy smiled. "Charmer."

Willow blushed.

Buffy let it pass with an affectionate smile. "Why aren't you in bed?"

"You propositioning me?"

It was Buffy's turn to blush. "Sleeping."

"Uh huh."

"So why are you up? Everything ok?" Buffy persisted.

"Tara and I talked." Willow's voice was barely above a whisper.

"Are you ok?"

"I don't know."

Buffy leaned around Willow. Willow pushed over and Buffy slid down into the chair beside her. It was a tight fit, so Buffy maneuvered Willow onto her lap. She felt Willow's ribs under her palm and frowned. "What happened?"

"Nothing. I mean, we talked. It was so hard." Willow's voice dropped. "She won't touch me. She barely looks at me and her stutter is as bad as when we met and it's all my fault. It wasn't supposed to hurt her. I wasn't supposed to hurt her, I was trying to help, and I'm afraid I'll hurt you and then what..."

"No, shh," Buffy gathered Willow to her. "Tara knows it wasn't malicious."

"But what if."

Buffy laid two fingers against Willow's lips. "No."

"But..."

Buffy repeated, "No." She kissed the first place her lips touched. "You won't. You haven't ever."

Willow stilled against her. So much was happening and she wasn't able to sort it all out quickly enough. But she was safe. Buffy held her and it was the safest place Willow had ever been. She drew her first complete breath of the day. Her heart ached from the realization that Tara was gone from her life in a way Willow had never foreseen, but each second that Buffy held her it healed a little. She would have to tell Tara, this, too, that Tara had been right in the fight they had, the one that had begun everything going so terribly wrong. _But Tara left me._

Buffy stroked Willow's head. Her hair was so soft. Her shampoo was apples, and her soap was lavender, and Willow herself was spicy. It was all she had ever needed, and she was done denying it. She slid the hand at the redhead's waist under her shirt and felt vertebrae. She frowned. "Did you eat anything today?"

"Um, I don't remember."

"You need to eat, Wills."

"I'll try at breakfast. Promise."

Buffy frowned again, but decided to let it pass. Her hand spiraled against Willow's smooth skin, and Willow relaxed against her when Buffy didn't push her to eat. "Ready for bed?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah," Willow said, but didn't move.

"No door to door service tonight. Injured Slayer, remember?"

Willow pushed herself off Buffy. She stood and offered her hand, but Buffy used the arms of the chair to push herself up. She stripped down to her underwear and t-shirt, limped past Willow to the bed, sat. She swung her legs into bed and rolled to the other side. Willow climbed in behind her.

The phone woke them several hours later. Willow rolled over and answered it, more from habit than any desire to speak with anyone.

Giles recognized her sleepy voice. "Willow, how are you, dear?"

"Been better."

"You will be again," he promised.

"You're not mad?"

"I am, but we'll discuss that later."

"I really screwed up, Giles."

"You did," he agreed. "And we'll fix it and move on." When Willow didn't answer, he asked, "Is Buffy there?"  
"Just a minute." She laid the receiver on her pillow and turned to Buffy. She pushed blonde hair off her face and leaned down. "Buffy, Giles is on the phone."

"'Kay." Buffy held out her hand, and Willow put the receiver in it. "Giles."

"Buffy."

"What'cha got?"

"She needs to come here."

"Unh unh."

"I can't find any other way."

"No."

"You and Dawn can bring her. The Council will send a team to cover the Hellmouth."

"You called the Council?" Buffy sat up. "Are you insane?"

"Listen to me." Giles put on his sternest voice. "She will die. It will kill her. You bring her here, the coven can help her purge herself. You can train. Dawn will be tutored."

"You've done it all ready."

"You asked me to."

"No, I asked you for options."

"There aren't any. I swear to you, you are safe. She will be safe. Dawn will be safe."

"Giles," Buffy started, but he cut her off.

"You know I wouldn't do this if there were another way."

Buffy sighed. "When?"

"There is a chartered plane at the airport. It will be ready when you arrive."

"You mean like now?"

"Yes, now. Please don't delay."

"What about the others?"

"If they want to come, they may. I'll meet you at the airport."

Buffy sighed. "I'm trusting you on this, Giles."

"You have my word, Buffy." He knew she was nodding at him.

"See you," Buffy said, and handed the receiver to Willow. She put it in the cradle.

When Buffy didn't speak, Willow asked, "What?"

"We're going to England."

"Huh?"

"All of us. Giles set everything up. He says only the coven there can help you."

"Again, huh?"

"Emergency Scooby meeting. I'll explain while they're coming." She leaned across Willow and got the phone. She called Xander on his cell, and set him on the task of gathering the others. Then she turned back to Willow. She repeated most of her conversation with Giles to the redhead.

Willow sat wide-eyed. When Buffy finished, she said, "I can't disrupt everyone's lives like that."

"You're going, and I'm coming with you. I'd feel better with everyone with us than worrying about what the Council goons are doing to them here."

"Buffy," Willow began.

"I don't like it, either, Wills. But I cannot lose you." Buffy closed her eyes and took a deep breath, opened them. Her hand reached for Willow's. "I love you," she said hoarsely, "and I will do whatever it takes to make you well."

"Thank you," Willow answered softly. She moved closer and put her arms around Buffy. Buffy rested in her embrace for a few moments. Willow gave up trying to order her thoughts. It was too much. All she could do was trust Buffy to do what had to be done.

Buffy pulled back. "They'll be here soon. I should get dressed."

"'Kay." Willow let her go, and Buffy let the bed, then the room.

She returned less than 15 minutes later, dressed and carrying a tray. Milk, juice, toast, a small bowl of fruit cocktail, a carton of peach yogurt. She pushed things aside to make space on the bedside table and set the tray down. Willow looked at it, then at Buffy.

"You promised you'd try breakfast," Buffy reminded her.

Willow bit the inside of her bottom lip and nodded. She reached for the juice, pulled back when her hand shook too much to settle around the glass. Buffy picked it up and held it for her. Willow wouldn't look at her, but she took a few sips from the glass. Buffy set it aside. "Toast or fruit?"

"Fruit."

Buffy held the spoon for her. Willow ate three before she refused more. Buffy handed her a small triangle of toast, a quarter slice of bread. Willow nibbled her way through half of it. Buffy offered her more fruit, but Willow shook her head. "Maybe later."

They heard the front door open, and Dawn call "Buffy?"

"Up here," she answered.

They all came upstairs, arrayed themselves around the bed.

"What's wrong?" Dawn asked.

"You guys know Will's been sick," Buffy started.

Everyone's eyes went to the redhead. It was the first Anya and Xander had seen her since that night. Xander's eyes widened at how bad Willow looked. Willow, embarrassed, looked at her lap.

"I called Giles, and he said the only way for her to get better is to go to the coven in England. We need to go ASAP. The Council's going to send a team to cover the Hellmouth while we're gone. I want you guys to come."

They all started talking at once, and Buffy yelled, "Hey!" to get their attention. "One at a time. Dawn."

"You're going to leave me and go to England with Willow?"

"No, we're going to England with Willow."

"But."

"No buts, go start packing. Two bags."

Dawn stayed put as Buffy's eyes turned to Tara. "Sc-sc-s-school," she stammered.

"Transfer. A semester abroad. I want you to come. Please," Buffy asked.

"My scholarship."

"We'll get it all straightened out."

"I don't know."

Buffy's hazel eyes bored into hers. "Tara, we need you. You're family."

Tara looked at the floor, and Buffy turned to Xander. Before Buffy could speak, Anya asked, "You're not going to let us stay, no matter what we want, are you?"

"No," Buffy said honestly, "I'm not. It's like this. Willow's sick. I'm taking her to England to get better. She needs her family, I need our family around us. I just got you guys back, and I'm not voluntarily leaving you again. So you can go home and pack and meet us at the airport in two hours, or we can just go now, empty handed. But we can't wait."

"I'm in," Dawn said.

"Us, too," Xander said.

Everyone turned to Tara. "You don't need m-m-me."

Willow looked up, caught Tara's eye. "You're essential."

Buffy got off the bed, stood in front of Tara. "Please," she asked again. "Please come with us. You're family, Tara, and we love you. We need you with us."

Tara's eyes were still locked with Willow's over Buffy's shoulder. Her thoughts spun and whirled, and she realized that if she said no, she would be utterly alone, and that she needed all of them as much as they wanted her. She pulled her gaze from Willow to Buffy. "Okay," she said, turned to Dawn. "Okay," she repeated.

"Thank you," Buffy told her, took a step back. "Go pack, people. We'll meet at the airport in two hours."

Xander and Anya left, and Dawn went to her room.

"Buffy, can I b-borrow the J-jeep? I need some things from the dorm."

"Sure, you know where the keys are." Buffy followed Tara into the hall, stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. "Thank you," she said again.

Tara shrugged and walked away.


	5. Chapter 5

Buffy threw clothes into her suitcases. She took the photos from her dresser and tucked them into the interior pocket of the larger case. She put them in the hallway, went back to her room and got her favorite leather jacket, put it over them. She went to Willow's room. Willow was dozing twitchily. Buffy sat beside her and took her hand. She leaned over kissed Willow's cheek.

The redhead's eyes flew open, bounced shut. "Hey," she said sleepily.

"Hey," Buffy answered, kissed her cheek again. "Anything you want me to pack besides your laptop?"

"No."

"All right, I'll just get some clothes." Buffy started to get up, but Willow held tight to her hand. Buffy smiled and sat still.

"I need to tell Tara about us before we leave."

Buffy nodded. "We'll find a few minutes."

"What did Giles say to get you into action Buffy mode?" When Buffy didn't answer or meet her eyes, Willow asked again, "What did he say?"

"He said you could die," Buffy whispered, then leaned down to rest her head on the pillow beside Willow's. "You can't die, Willow. I need you."

"No on dying. Check." Willow wrapped her arms around Buffy.

"Don't you forget it, either." Buffy kissed Willow's cheek, pulled back. "Tara's back. I'll ask her to come up."

Willow sat up. She tried to smooth her hair.

"W-willow?"

"Hey." She gestured at the foot of the bed, waited until Tara sat. "You can say I told you so. I didn't know, not consciously, cause I was so crazy about you. I still am, but I'm not yours any more."

"You n-nnever w-w-w-were mine, W-will. I w-was always yours." Tara wondered where Willow was going with her babble. She always had a point.

"See? I told you so. And I wish, so much, that you were still mine, but you can't be. I made sure of that, didn't I? I'm so sorry, Tara. I never stopped to think about what I was doing or I never would have. And then I did the only thing that was sure to make you leave like everybody else. Stupid. And now it's better and worse and I'm really hoping for happy endings all around. Cause you deserve one. You're the nicest person I have ever met."

"Um, thanks, and everyth-thing, but Buffy said w-we're k-kinda on a deadline."

"Oh, right. Anyway, oh hell." Willow looked Tara in the eye for the first time. "Buffy and I, we're together."

"Good. You should b-be. You guys have d-d-destiny with a capital d written all over you." Tara stood up. Later, they could, no, would talk about it. Right now, it was still too fresh, that they were really, really finished with that part of their lives. "Did Buffy pack anything for you yet?"

"No, she was gonna and then you came."

"I'll pack you some clothes. You get dressed and pack up your laptop."

Willow moved slowly, but did as Tara instructed. When Tara took Willow's suitcase of clothes to join the others in the hall, Buffy was there. They looked at each other for a moment, and Tara told her, "We're good."

Buffy nodded.

"Don't hurt her, okay?"

"No. I, I didn't, you." Buffy stopped, started over. "I won't. I meant everything I said. You're family."

"Thank you."

"No, thank you. You kept them all together. You took care of my girls when I couldn't. You took care of me. Now just let us, let me, okay?"

Tara nodded slowly. She eased past Buffy and carried Willow's bag down the stairs. Buffy let her go, went to the room. Willow was peering into her computer bag.

"You ready?" Buffy asked.

"I think so."

"You warm enough?"

"No, I was gonna get a jacket."

Buffy went to the armoire, opened it, pulled out a hooded sweatshirt. She knew it would hang on Willow, but it should help keep her warm. She helped Willow into it and asked one more time, "You ready?"

"Yeah." Willow fastened the tabs on her bag.

"Good." Buffy picked up the bag. "Lean on me."

"I can walk," Willow told her indignantly.

"Uh huh. Lean or be carried."

"Oooh, you're goin' all cave Buffy again."

Buffy blushed but refused to back down. "If I have to."

"All right," Willow acquiesced. She slid her arm around Buffy's waist. They got to the top of the stairs, and Willow stopped. She looked at Buffy.

"Piggyback," Buffy told her. She carried Willow down the stairs and to the sofa. "Stay here a minute, okay? I'll be right back."

She took the last two bags and Willow's computer case out to the Jeep, where Dawn and Tara were stowing the other bags. She left those three and went back into the house. She checked the back door and set the front door lock. She scooped up her keys, but left the door open. Then she went to the couch. "One more little walk."

Willow nodded and let Buffy pull her to her feet. Buffy pulled a little more, so Willow came close to her, and they held each other for a long moment. Buffy lifted Willow's thighs and carried her out of the house, and Willow let her. She rested her head against Buffy's shoulder and closed her eyes. Buffy sat Willow in the back seat. She sent Dawn back to close the door and handed Tara the keys. She fastened Willow's seatbelt, then went around and climbed in the backseat beside her. Willow leaned against her and rested her hand on Buffy's thigh. Buffy covered Willow's hand with her own.

No one spoke during the drive to the airport. Willow was asleep when they got there, so Buffy left Dawn and Tara in the car with her while she found out where they should go. When Buffy went back out with directions, Xander was parked behind the Jeep. She waved and got back into the Jeep. Buffy gave Tara directions that took them directly to a private hangar. They parked outside it, and there were people around the car as soon as they got out. They handed the luggage off, and Buffy carried Willow again.

The plane taxied down the runway at 3 pm. Willow slept in a window seat, with Buffy beside her. Tara sat across the aisle from Buffy, with Dawn in the window seat beside her. Xander and Anya sat in front of Tara and Dawn. Everyone but Tara and Buffy soon were napping. Tara watched Buffy when she could. The Slayer was so gentle with Willow. She touched her constantly, and when Willow became restless, Buffy would stroke her cheek and speak quietly. She recognized the action. She and Willow had done that for each other many times.

It was right, she thought, that Buffy and Willow were together. Tara had speculated once or twice that she would lose Willow to Buffy, but Willow was steadfastly attached to Tara until the same magick that brought them together forced Tara to push herself away. Buffy had been so confused after her resurrection, trying to feel instead of actually feeling. That had led her to Spike, and Tara was glad he was not here with them. She was glad, too, that she had realized there was more going on than Buffy admitted that night.

Buffy looked up to find Tara watching them. "Hey."

Tara pulled out of her reverie. "Hey. How is she?"

Buffy grimaced. "Restless. I was hoping getting away from the Hellmouth would help."

"It takes a wh-while to wear off."

"Thank you." Buffy nodded toward Dawn. "I couldn't do this without you."

"You could. B-b-b-but you don't have to."

Willow whimpered and Buffy turned back to her. She kissed above Willow's ear, crooned, "It's okay, you're safe, I've got you." Willow's hand tightened around Buffy's fingers, and Buffy did it again.

Willow screamed and her eyes shot open. She pushed at Buffy and couldn't be comforted. One of the Council's team came to them. "We have tranquilizers," he offered.

"No, thanks." Buffy answered tersely. She released Willow's seatbelt, pulled her stiff, spasming form into her lap. She rocked her while everyone but Tara watched with wide eyes. Only Willow could hear what she was saying though. Buffy repeated, "I love you, Willow. You're safe. I've got you."

It took a few long minutes for it to pass, for Willow to lie bonelessly against Buffy. Buffy drew her closer and closed her eyes. She was exhausted and she feared it was too late to save Willow, like she had been too late to save Jesse, and Jenny, and all the others. They haunted her. Buffy didn't want Willow to haunt her, too. She wanted her bright and alive and beside her. Buffy needed her family, but mostly she needed Willow. She closed her eyes and remembered the night she first realized it.

_She was numb. Sitting in the dark and afraid of it for the first time ever. Her mommy was gone and monsters were real and she was alone. She heard the front door click open, and shut, and she waited in the dark for whatever monster it was to come and kill her. Except it wasn't a monster. It was Willow. Who for once said nothing. She stood beside the chair and pulled Buffy against her and held her while Buffy fell apart. It took a long time for Buffy to cry herself out. When she did, Willow moved them to bed and Buffy rested against Willow's chest, listening to the steady thump-thumpthump of her heartbeat._

Tara draped a blanket over them and put a second one on the empty seat. Dawn was still looking at them with wide eyes when Tara sat down. She turned her gaze to Tara, who looked serene. Willow looked like she always did asleep. Buffy's fierce concentration softened, but she remained focused on Willow. Her lips rested on Willow's forehead. Beneath the blanket, she slipped her warm hands under Willow's shirts to rest against her cool skin. They both sighed at the contact, and Willow's lingering discomfort slipped away. 'I can do this,' Buffy thought, relishing the feel of Willow's smooth skin under her fingertips.'We will do this,' she promised herself, 'and then…'

That thought stopped Buffy. She couldn't remember the last time she thought of the future, any future beyond her next breath. For so long, there was just Now. Act or react. And Don't Die. That was important. More important now. Because Willow loved her and she loved Willow and they had a lot of things to do together that didn't involve dying. Many of them were exactly this: Willow's skin under her fingers and lips, inhaling Willow's scent with each breath.

Dawn saw the small smile that slipped onto Buffy's face, and things clicked into place. She wasn't sure what to feel. Buffy looked happy, for the first time she could remember. And it was Willow. But Tara had been crying, although she wasn't now. She looked kind of pleased. Tara would explain it to her, maybe. "Tara?"

"Hmm?"

"What's the deal?" Dawn nodded toward her sister.

"You should ask Buffy."

"Aren't you and Willow ever going to get back together?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Are you sad?"

"Yeah, some."

"I'm glad you came." Dawn lowered her voice. "Maybe they'll stake Spike before we get back."

Tara smiled grimly. "Maybe."

Dawn unfastened her seatbelt. She stood, bent over, and moved past Tara to the aisle, where she stretched. She walked up and down the aisle a few times, then slid past Buffy into Willow's vacant seat. "Buffy?"

"Hmmm? Oh, hey, Dawn." Buffy moved so she could see her sister.

"She okay?"

"Yeah." Buffy shifted a little, pulling Willow closer. "There's a lot going on, you know?"

"Yeah," Dawn answered. "Are you happy?"

"More like content." Buffy paused. "I'll be happy when she's better." She turned to press her lips to Willow's head. "You okay with this?"

"I will be. Just need to get used to it. And me and Willow need to have a talk."

"As soon as she's better."

Dawn nodded. "We're keeping Tara, right?"

"Absolutely. You heard Wills. She's essential."

Willow started trembling. Buffy turned her complete attention back to the redhead. "Shh, Wills, I got you. You're safe. I love you." She repeated her litany during the long seconds it took for the redhead to settle back against her.

Dawn watched. She could see and feel Buffy's affection for Willow. It was obvious Buffy had told her the truth, Willow was sick. And if Willow was sick, she hadn't hurt Dawn on purpose. Dawn felt the anger she had been holding slip away. She tucked the blanket around Willow's back, then stood and went back to her seat. Tara's eyes stayed closed as Dawn stepped over her, and Dawn laid her head against the seat and closed her eyes.

Everyone around her was asleep when Willow woke. She tried to stay still. She knew Buffy was exhausted, and she didn't want to wake her. But when she pulled her head away from the Slayer's shoulder, her hazel eyes opened. "Will?"

"I need to move," Willow whispered to her.

"Okay." Buffy pushed the blanket off them. Her hands went to Willow's waist, steadying her as she stood in aisle. "Hold on to the seat and I'll stand up."

Buffy was on her feet and behind Willow before the witch registered her movement. They walked to the back of the cabin. At the next to the last seat, Willow stopped. She leaned against the seat. Buffy slipped into it and pulled Willow into her lap. They were a dozen rows from their friends. "You okay?" Buffy asked.

Willow nodded. "Tired."

"I know." Buffy cupped her face.

Willow turned her lips into Buffy's palm. After her caress, Buffy's hand drifted behind her head, pulled Willow closer. They kissed slowly. For those seconds, all of the noise in Willow's head stopped. When their lips separated, Willow said hoarsely, "I love you so much."

"I love you," Buffy answered, pressed her mouth against Willow's again. Kissing her was enough for now. One day there would be more. Her brain threw up a picture of Willow naked and sweaty and Buffy moaned and pulled Willow closer before she chased it away. They kissed until they were both breathless, then rested forehead to forehead. Buffy's fingers continued to move against Willow's skull, massaging gently. Willow's hands rested on Buffy's collarbone.

"I'm sorry," Willow said softly.

"No more sorries, Wills. You aren't hurting me. Am I hurting you?" Her fingers moved slowly down Willow's neck, massaging gently.

"No." Willow's eyes drifted shut for a moment.

"I'm trying to help. Am I helping?"

"Yes."

"Good." Buffy moved in and kissed Willow's cheek. She moved her lips slowly, trying to kiss each freckle. "I love you," Buffy repeated.

"Thank you," Willow answered. She focused on Buffy. "Thank you for helping me."

"My pleasure."

"What's gonna happen?"

"I don't know. Giles said we'll be safe, and they'll help you get better."

"I'm safe right here." Willow dropped a light kiss on Buffy's mouth.

"Me, too."

"There's so much."

"Get better first, Will. Then we can make plans." One hand came forward to rest against Willow's face.

"You want to make plans?"

"With you."

"Really?" Willow was stunned. Buffy had never made any plans for the future, except to make a will and guardianship arrangements for Dawn after their mother's death.

"Really."

Willow smiled the first real smile Buffy had seen from her in months, and Buffy smiled back. The wall that had been between them for so long was gone. Buffy inhaled deeply, and pulled Willow's face toward her own. Still smiling, they kissed, then broke into giggles.

The sound drifted toward their sleeping friends. Hearing it, Xander smiled. They were young, and they had won again. Sex hadn't confused everything between them yet, and he felt best when he made them laugh. Anya frowned for a moment before she placed the noise and realized it had nothing to do with her. She returned to her dream.

Dawn leaned against Tara and sighed. They were always together, her sister and her sister's best friend. Who was way nicer to her than her own sister. They would giggle most of the night, and Dawn knew there would be no screaming to wake her. Buffy never had nightmares when Willow stayed over. She shifted again, folding her long frame into the seat and as much against Tara as possible.

Tara frowned a little. She had never heard them like this. Although she knew it was right, she didn't want it to be. Her bruised heart wanted to be jealous and angry, but it couldn't. She was loved, unconditionally, by everyone around her. Any one of them would die for her. They had all fought for her, then with her. And there was someone out there for her. Who would love her and whom she would love.

In the cargo hold, Spike cursed softly. He was so cold he couldn't feel his fingers, and so couldn't find his lighter, much less light a cigarette. He hunkered down against the bulkhead and continued to swear.


	6. Chapter 6

It was early the next morning when they landed at a small private airstrip. As promised, Giles was waiting for them. He greeted them with hugs, his normal reserve set aside for a few moments. Buffy stayed attached to Willow after their greeting. She didn't miss Giles' frown at Willow's appearance.

He bundled them into cars for a brief ride to a large stone manor house. Inside, they followed him to a large library. Quentin Travers and a few other members of the Watchers Council were all ready seated.

Buffy eyed them suspiciously. She maneuvered them so she was between her family and the Council members. After a few long moments she stared at Travers and asked, "Well?"

"Good to see you, too, Miss Summers."

"Cut the crap, Travers. You want something for this. You always want something."

"We want nothing, Miss Summers. The Slayer is always accorded that which she needs to do her job. You need the witch."

"What's it going to cost?"

"Nothing," Travers repeated. "You will have everything you need. Rupert," Travers nodded toward Giles, "has made some arrangements for schooling and such for your friends. We have excellent training facilities here for your use. The Council is not your enemy."

Buffy nodded slowly. "Ok, Mr.," she emphasized, "Travers. My family and I appreciate what you've done."

The door opened and three young women in hiking boots, blue jeans and green sweaters entered. They nodded at the Council members. Willow's forehead drew into a frown. She reached toward Buffy, and her eyes rolled back into her head. Her body stiffened.

The three young women surrounded Willow before Buffy realized what was happening. She watched without interfering until Willow screamed. Then she pushed her way through to pull Willow into her arms. She held her as close as she could and whispered promises into the redhead's ear. Buffy felt when Willow relaxed, and knew she would sleep for an hour or two.

Everyone but Tara and the trio of green-shirted women had left while Buffy tended Willow. Tara knelt in front of Buffy. "We need to go now," she said softly.

Buffy nodded and stood easily, even holding Willow's dead weight.

"You can't come," Tara told her apologetically.

"You can't stop me."

"Buffy," Tara began, then shook her head and stepped back. She walked to the door and held it open. Two of the green-shirted women went through, followed by Buffy, who carried Willow. Tara stepped into line behind Buffy and the third woman closed the door before bringing up the rear.

The motion disturbed Willow. "Buff?" she asked sleepily.

"It's ok, Wills," Buffy soothed her. "We're almost there."

"Whysit so dark?"

"It's ok," Buffy repeated.

"Oh. All right." Willow rested against Buffy.

The cleansing ritual was lengthy, but both Buffy and Willow felt better when it was over. Willow was put to bed, where she had the first dreamless sleep in a long time. Buffy, energized, went to work out. After an hour, she showered and dressed and went to find the rest of her family. She found Giles first, in the library.

"Hey, Giles, where is everybody?"

"Buffy," Giles smiled. "Do sit down."

Buffy sat in the chair closest to Giles. "Dawn is having lessons. Xander and Anya are touring the grounds."

"And all the Council guys?"

"Gone, except for the trainers and instructors. They have their own wing."

"What's this going to cost, Giles?"

"It costs you nothing. You are not beholden to anyone for this. It is what the Council is supposed to do for the Slayer."

"So why now? They could have been making with the nice a long time ago and saved everybody a lot of grief."

Giles sighed. "There's a prophecy."

Buffy shrugged. "There's always a prophecy. Do I have to die again? Cause I am so not ready."

"No, you don't die," Giles smiled. "No one dies. But it seems to concern you and Willow. It's all rather vague right now."

"It's always vague. Why can't they ever write these things in plain English?"

"Spoils the mystery, I suppose."

"So what is it?"

"That's the part we haven't worked out yet."

Buffy rolled her eyes.

"It talks about the Slayer, her Sorceress, their heart, and a key."

"I don't like it all ready." Buffy got up and started to pace.

"Don't fret over it. At least not until there's something to worry over."

Buffy stopped in front of Giles. "These things are never good, Giles. They never say the Hellmouth will open and spew forth puppies and kittens. It's always death and destruction and the end of the world."

"Until we know what it says, there's no use worrying."

"I'm just wigged, Giles. First you tell me Willow could die, and now we're here in a castle and there's some prophecy and I just want something to be a little less hard for a change."

Giles didn't answer her, so Buffy began to pace again. She stopped, cocked her head to one side, then spun and left.

She was at Willow's side before anyone realized anything was wrong. Buffy pushed past the young woman outside the door. She reached the bedside in a few steps. Willow was choking, trying to sit up, but too weak to do it. Buffy turned Willow enough for her head to hang off the side of the bed, and anchored her with one arm. With her free hand, she pulled Willow's hair back.

What Willow vomited was black and oily and left her gasping. When she finished, she hung limply off the bed and panted harshly between dry heaves. When she stopped, Buffy gathered her into her arms and carried her out of the room. She walked down the hall until she found a chair and sat, cradling Willow. Tara would find them, Buffy knew.

It took a while. Long enough for Buffy's panic to subside as Willow sank back into sleep. Long enough for Buffy to try to remember how to pray. When Tara stood in front of them, Buffy looked up into her soft, blue eyes. Tara looked troubled, and Buffy waited for her to begin the conversation.

"You can't save her," Tara said quietly. "None of us can. She has to do it herself."

"I need her."

Tara's eyes closed and her brow furrowed for a long moment before she answered. "I know." She reached out but stopped before touching either of her friends. "You both need to rest a bit before we start again."

Buffy nodded and stood. She shifted Willow in her arms and followed Tara. She led them to another bedroom. Buffy laid Willow down after Tara pulled the covers back. She pushed off her shoes and slid Willow over to make room so she could get in beside her. Tara pulled the covers up over both of them. She stood and watched for a moment as Buffy gathered Willow against her. They both looked terrible, and Tara knew she didn't look much better. She wanted to tell Buffy that everything would be fine, but the words choked her, so Tara left them.

Willow woke slowly. She knew she was with Buffy, but everything else was wrong. She frowned, trying to piece it together. Buffy interrupted her thoughts with a quiet, "Hey."

"Hey," Willow answered. "What's going on?"

"Nothing yet, but the witches keep sticking their heads in to check on us. I think they're waiting for you."

The pieces slid into place, and Willow said, "You came."

"Yeah."

"I was so scared."

"I know." Buffy stroked her cheek. "You know I won't let anything happen to you, right?"

"Yeah."

Tara slipped into the room. "You're awake. I'll let the others know."

"Tara, wait," Buffy called, but Tara was gone.

The ritual took longer the second time, because they had to start again each time Willow vomited. After the fifth time, Buffy stopped it. She picked Willow up and carried her away. They returned to the room Tara had taken them to before. Buffy put Willow in the bed, then climbed in behind her. She covered Willow with her body, trying to warm her, and felt her shaking. Like she had done for nights before, she comforted Willow as best she could.

Buffy wasn't surprised when Tara entered the room. Tara waited at the doorway, so Buffy kissed Willow and climbed out of bed. She met Tara at the door.

"You have to bring her back," Tara said.

"No. It's enough for now."

"It's not, Buffy."

"Look at her, Tara. She can't do it again."

"She has to. You have to. So do I. So do Xander and Anya. It touched all of us when it took her."

"Then go. We'll go back later."

"No." Tara was resolute. She backed into the hallway, pulling Buffy with her. She stopped when she was as far away as she could be and still let Buffy keep Willow in her field of vision. "It has to be now, Buffy."

"Tara."

Tara cut her off. "I'm not losing anyone else to this. Especially not her." She waited, knowing Buffy would look at her. When she did, Tara told Buffy, "And not you, either. You bring her now or I will."

They stood in the hallway, staring at each other. Buffy broke the silence "They're hurting her," she said in a small voice.

"They aren't." Tara put her hand on Buffy's shoulder. "You won't let them, and neither will I."

Buffy's jaw flexed as she thought. Tara watched her, and when Buffy's eyes turned toward Willow, Tara's followed.

"Buffy," Tara coaxed, "this is why we came, remember?"

Buffy closed her eyes and swallowed hard before turning away from Tara. She went back into the room and leaned over the bed. She scooped Willow up easily and kissed her forehead before turning toward Tara.

They started the ritual three more times. The fourth time, they completed it. This time, Buffy stayed with Willow afterward. She held Willow against her and dozed, waking each time the redhead moved. Exhaustion finally caught up to her, and she slept without moving.

When she woke, Willow was on top of her. She could feel Willow's thigh against her center, and the heat of Willow's on her thigh. Their breasts were touching, and Buffy's hands slid down Willow's back to cup her butt. She pulled Willow more tightly against her.

"Mmmmm, you awake?"

"Uh huh." Buffy stretched a little, putting more pressure against Willow's body. "This feels nice."

"Yeah," Willow agreed. She turned and kissed Buffy's cheek. "How're you?" she murmured.

"I'm great," Buffy grinned. "How do you feel?"

"Better."

"Good." She squeezed Willow's butt, slid her hands her up her sides.

"What time is it?"

"I dunno. Time to get up, I guess." Buffy's stomach rumbled, and they both giggled. "Definitely time to get up."

"'Kay." Willow tried to slide off Buffy, but Buffy held her there a moment.

"In a minute."


	7. Chapter 7

It was several minutes and two more rumbles before they got out of bed. They showered together, and Buffy brushed Willow's hair after they dressed. Holding hands, they headed into the hall. Buffy saw Dawn and hailed her. Dawn waited for them, watching them move toward her with a slight frown.

Buffy smiled and let go of Willow to hug Dawn. Dawn hugged her hard. All of the adults in her world had disappeared since their arrival three days before, and she was relieved to see her sister. Willow, too, who hung back and watched them with her own smile.

When the sisters let go, Willow said, "Hi, Dawnie."

"Hey, Willow," Dawn answered, and stepped up to hug her, too.

Buffy saw the relief on Willow's face as they embraced. She heard Willow tell Dawn, "I'm so sorry."

"Can we talk about that later?"

"Sure." Willow backed away, and Buffy stepped between them and took both their hands.

"Dawn, where are they hiding the food?" Buffy asked.

"Dinner was an hour ago, but there should be something in the kitchen. C'mon." Dawn led them through the huge place until they got to the modern, industrial kitchen.

Willow sat at the counter while Buffy rummaged through the refrigerator. "Leftovers, cool." She pulled out two covered plates and put them on the counter. Two pitchers and a third plate followed.

Dawn put the first plate in the microwave, and got silverware and glasses for them while the dish turned. By the time the machine dinged, Buffy had filled three glasses with milk. Dawn put the first plate in front of Buffy and put the second in the microwave. Buffy was half finished by the time Dawn slid a plate in front of Willow.

Willow ate a few tablespoons of each thing on the plate, then slid it to Buffy. Buffy wolfed it down, too, then pulled the third plate over and removed its cover. "Dessert," she grinned, putting the chocolate cake where all three of them could reach it.

Willow ate a few bites of the cake, then sat while Dawn and Buffy demolished the rest. When she finished eating and drained her third glass of milk, Buffy got up and gathered the dishes. She carried them to the sink and left them there.

"Where's your room?" Buffy asked Dawn.

"Couple down from yours."

"Where is everybody?"

Dawn shrugged.

"Well, let's go find them." She offered a hand to both Willow and her sister.

They explored for half an hour without finding anyone. Buffy noticed that Willow was slowing and nudged Dawn. Dawn nodded back to her, and they headed toward their rooms. Dawn pointed out her door, two down from theirs.

While they had been gone, the room had been straightened up. The bed was made up with different sheets and had been turned down for them. The three of them sat on the bed. Dawn told them about her tutor and their planned trip to London with Giles. Willow lay with her head on Buffy's thigh and drifted into sleep while the sisters talked.

When Dawn noticed that Willow was asleep, she asked Buffy, "How is she?"

"Better, I think." Buffy smiled. "She looks better to you, doesn't she?"

"Yeah, I mean, she ate and walked and talked and everything."

"And slept, I mean, really slept, last night." She smiled down at the redhead, then looked at her sister. "I sound like a big goof, don't I?"

Dawn shrugged. "'Sall right. That's what I tell my friends anyway," she teased tentatively.

Buffy made a face at her and Dawn giggled. The sisters talked a while longer before Dawn excused herself to finish her homework. Buffy's eyebrow went up, but she said good night.

After Dawn left, she maneuvered Willow into a better sleeping position. She was wide awake and wanted to burn off some of her energy, but didn't want to leave Willow alone.

The phone rang, startling her. She hadn't noticed it, but quickly found it on a table under the windows. "Hello?"

"Buffy, how are you?"

"Good, Giles, how are you?"

"Quite well, thank you. I was hoping we could talk."

"Sure." Buffy sat in one of the chairs by the table."

"Shall we meet in the library?"

"Um, no. One, I don't know where the library is, and two, I don't want to leave Willow alone."

"The library is downstairs. Turn right at the first corridor. It's the second door on the left."

"Still leaves Willow here alone."

"I'll ask one of the coven to sit with her."

"Can we get Tara instead?"

"Tara, Xander and Anya went out."

Buffy sighed. "Could you come here, then?"

"Buffy, the coven will not let Willow come to any harm."

"Uh huh. I'm not leaving her unless one of us can stay."

"Fine," Giles huffed. "I'll be there shortly," he said and hung up before Buffy could answer.

Buffy opened the door before Giles could knock. They sat across from each other at the table. Buffy's eyes went to Willow every few seconds. Giles began to talk about the prophecy, but had nothing new to tell her. She fidgeted as they talked, and after 20 minutes, he told her, "Go. I'll stay here."

"You sure?"

"Quite."

"Thanks." Buffy hopped up. She rummaged through one of her bags until she found Mr. Pointy, stuck it in the back of her waistband. She went to the bed and leaned over Willow, whispered that she was going on patrol and kissed her once. She headed for the door, stopped and turned to face Giles. He was looking at Willow, his brow furrowed. "Giles."

He turned his attention to the Slayer. "Yes, Buffy."

"No yelling if she wakes up."

"Of course not," Giles agreed.

Buffy found her way outside. She stretched, then jogged toward the gardens. A figure stepped in front of her just before the entrance. She knew who it was before seeing him in the flare of his lighter. "Buffy, love."

"What are you doing here?" She stopped more than an arms' reach away.

"Waiting for you."

"I told you, Spike. Whatever we had is finished. Stay away from me and stay away from my family."

"I love you, Buffy." Spike exhaled a plume of blue smoke.

"I don't care. Go away and stay away." Unconsciously, Buffy moved into a fighting stance.

Spike stepped toward Buffy. "You don't mean that, love."

"I do." She glared at him. "If I see you again, I'll stake you."

Spike laughed and took another step, into Buffy's striking range. "You keep saying that."

"I mean it." Buffy put her palm up and Spike walked into it. She shoved him backwards. "We're done," she said calmly.

"Buffy." He moved toward her again.

"No, Spike. Just, no." She turned back toward the mansion.

Spike tackled her from behind. They rolled on the gravel paths, and Buffy flipped him off her body. She sprang up. He did, too, and they began circling. "I knew you'd want it, once we got started."

Buffy stopped. "This is your last chance to walk away."

Spike grinned. "Bring it on, Slayer."

The fight was long and brutal. When Spike realized Buffy was serious, he slipped away into the night. She leaned over her knees and spat out a mouthful of blood. When she caught her breath, Buffy headed back inside.

Willow and Giles were talking when Buffy entered the room, and Buffy swore silently at the look in her eyes as Willow crossed the room. Willow stopped close to Buffy, frowning, then reached for her bicep. She pushed Buffy into the bathroom and sat her on the edge of the tub. Giles followed them in, and handed Willow a damp washcloth. He reached under the sink and pulled out a first aid kit, laid it open on the counter beside the sink.

Nobody said anything until Buffy's injuries were tended. Then Buffy looked past Willow to Giles. "It was Spike," she said softly.

"Did you stake him?"

"He got away." Buffy looked at the floor, anywhere but at Willow.

"I'll let security know," Giles said. He felt the tension between the girls and wanted out before one or both of them erupted.

Willow cupped Buffy's chin in her hand and pulled her gaze upward. "Are you all right?" she asked softly.

"I'm sorry, Will."

"Are you all right?" Willow repeated.

Buffy closed her eyes long enough to inhale and exhale. She opened her eyes and nodded. She didn't know how to explain to Willow anything about Spike.

Willow's hand dropped to Buffy's shoulder. "I got you a snack. You're always hungry after patrol. So I got cookies. And cocoa. No marshmallows in yours. Or mine. No marshmallows at all."

"Will." Buffy took her free hand.

"Maybe we can get some."

"Will."

"There's stores, right? No 7-11s or anything but a supermarket."

"Will, stop."

"I could feel you, Buffy. How he made you feel." Willow looked at Buffy. "I'm sorry you hurt like that and I didn't see."

"You were a little busy."

"Please don't let me hurt you."

Buffy tugged Willow onto her lap. "You won't."

"We thought Spike couldn't, either. How can he do this to you? Isn't the chip working?"

"I don't know. It doesn't work on me." Buffy watched Willow think for a few moments. "You said we have cookies."

"Uh huh. Two kinds," Willow answered distractedly.

"Cool." Buffy stood up, lifting Willow easily. "Chocolate chip? She asked hopefully.

"With nuts." Willow rested her head on Buffy's shoulder as they crossed the room.

Buffy sat in the chair closest to the two plates of cookies with Willow still on her lap. She reached around the redhead to pull two cookies off one of the plates. "Mmm, good," she said around a mouthful of cookie.

Willow reached out and pulled two mugs to where they could reach them. "Did Giles tell you about the prophecy?"

"No more shop talk. Eating." Buffy reached for more cookies. Willow giggled, and poked Buffy in the ribs. The blonde squirmed. "Will," she whined.

"Fine." Willow tried to stand, but Buffy held her down.

"I like you right here."

"Buffy, let me up."

"Nope." Buffy tossed the last cookie back onto the plate and nuzzled Willow's neck. "You stay right here. So. I. Can. Do. This." She kissed her way to Willow's lips.

They sat in the chair and kissed. They ignored the phone when it rang. It stopped, and when it started again, Willow pulled away. She picked up the receiver. "We're not here, leave a message," she said, and dropped the receiver on the floor. She squirmed until she straddled Buffy, took her face in her hands and returned to kissing her.

Buffy's hands slid under Willow's shirt, moved up and down her back, sometimes clutching Willow tighter against her. They broke for a moment, both breathing hard.

"I don't want to stop," Willow said hoarsely.

Instead of answering, Buffy pulled Willow against her again.

All of their desire couldn't overcome their mutual tiredness, and they fell asleep in the chair, wrapped around each other. Buffy woke a couple hours later and moved them to bed without dislodging Willow.


	8. Chapter 8

Before daybreak, Tara rapped on their door, then entered. Buffy awoke and looked over at her.

"We have to go," Tara said quietly.

Buffy nodded, hating what she knew was coming.

This time all of them were there. The coven circled the four of them, chanting. Buffy saw Tara's lips moving, but couldn't make out what she was saying. Buffy held Willow's and Tara's hands; Willow had Xander's hand in her other; and Anya linked Xander and Tara, completing their circle. They faced outward, so they were face to face with the coven members, separated by less than a foot.

This ritual was longer than the previous one, and Buffy was relieved when no one became sick from it. When they finished, the four of them were herded to a large dining room. Buffy made sure Willow got something before she started eating. Six eggs, a dozen sausages, two stacks of waffles, three bowls of cereal and pitcher of juice later, Buffy was finished. Willow had eaten half of the plate Buffy fixed for her before pushing it away. Everyone else had finished long before Buffy, and when she pushed the last bowl away, she realized the coven members were staring.

"What?"

"You ate all that?" one of the younger ones asked.

Buffy shrugged. "I'm the Slayer." Then she thought of something. "Can we get some marshmallows? For hot chocolate later?"

"We'll see what we can do," Quentin Travers answered from behind her.

"Good," Buffy answered.

Willow watched the hair on Buffy's neck stand up. She rested her hand on the Slayer's thigh, and felt Buffy untense slightly.

"Might I have a moment of your time, Miss Summers?"

Buffy stood up slowly and turned to face him. "Be right back," she murmured to Willow, and followed Travers from the room.

He took them to a small room across the hall. They both ignored the chairs.

"Rupert tells me William the Bloody followed you here."

"Yes."

"He seems rather fond of you."

Buffy shrugged. "I'm a likeable girl."

"He's killed two Slayers all ready, Miss Summers."

"And he'll die the next time I see him, Mr. Travers," she answered calmly.

Travers nodded. "I trust the accommodations are acceptable?"

"Everything's fine."

He smiled at her. "I'll see to the marshmallows. Is there anything else you need?"

"I'll let you know if there is, thank you."

"Thank you, Miss Summers."

"Anything else?"

"Not at this time."

"Ok." Buffy left before he could answer.

All eyes were on her when she returned to the dining room. She winked at Willow, and told the others, "It's all good," as she slid back into her seat. The coven members, she noted, were gone. "So what's the up?"

Tara spoke up. "The coven wants us to rest today. Tonight, there's another ritual. Longer."

Buffy sighed.

"You don't get to complain about this," Anya told her. "It's all your girlfriend's fault anyway."

"Hey," both Willow and Buffy said at the same time.

"Ahn," Xander started.

"Oh, please. Look at them. And it is Willow's fault. She insisted we resurrect Buffy."

Buffy glared at Anya. Willow looked at her lap. Tara waited to see what would happen next. Xander looked at the women around him and hung his head, sure that whatever it was would somehow become his fault.

But nothing happened. Anya didn't push the issue, and Buffy let her comment go unanswered, mostly because it was true.

"I have some bad news," Buffy told them, to change the subject. "Spike's here."

"How?"

"I don't know how. I ran into him last night. So be careful."

"Great," Anya muttered. "Now we have to worry about creepy dead English guys, too. Like the live ones here aren't bad enough."

"Are they bothering you?"

"No, they're just creepy. All that tweed and none of them make any sound until they're on top of you."

Buffy laughed out loud. "Watcher training. Remember Wesley trying to be stealthy?" Xander chuckled and Willow giggled. "That worked about as well as me trying to sneak into Willie's."

Tara and Anya watched the three of them laugh together. They looked at each other and shrugged. They would always be outside, since they weren't there from the beginning. There were years between Willow and Xander and Buffy that they weren't part of.

The friends talked a while longer before going their separate ways. Buffy and Willow headed outside. Buffy steered them in the opposite direction than she had taken the night before. They walked without talking, their joined hands swinging between them. "I'm glad you're feeling better," Buffy smiled.

"Me, too." Willow skipped a step.

Buffy's smile widened. Willow hadn't acted like this since high school. She hadn't, either, the Slayer realized, and her smile grew a little more.

The informal garden was lovely. The day was warm, and the girls stopped to bask on a bench. Their fingers slipped over and caressed each other's. Buffy pulled Willow's hand to her lips. She kissed each knuckle while Willow watched, then turned her hand over and started on the palm. She moved to Willow's wrist. Buffy felt Willow's pulse with her lips, steady but fast. Willow's breathing began to change and she used her other hand to massage Buffy's neck.

Buffy reached the hem of Willow's sleeve and raised her head. Willow met her lips. They kissed slowly, tasting and exploring and enjoying each other. They were content with that for nearly an hour.

"Will."

"Hmm?" Willow kissed Buffy's jaw.

"We need to stop."

"No."

"Uh huh." Buffy turned a little, trying to separate from Willow, and pushed her breast into Willow's hand. Both women moaned, but neither moved.

"Have to," Buffy panted and pulled away from Willow.

Willow smiled and slid her hands down to Buffy's waist. "You feel so good."

"Mmm, you too." Buffy leaned forward again to kiss Willow's cheek. "I'm so bad at this, Will. I don't want to mess us up."

"You can't." Willow turned to catch Buffy's lips. She kissed her gently. "There's nothing you can do to get rid of me. There's nothing you can say to make me leave you. I love you, Buffy." She kissed her again, slowly and thoroughly. "You want to go slow, we can do that."

"It's not that." Buffy worked to control her breathing. Willow was flushed, her lips darker and swollen. "God, you're so beautiful," Buffy exhaled. She stroked Willow's cheek reverently. "You're so special to me, I want everything to be perfect."

"It will. It is." She covered Buffy's hand on her cheek. "You are." She frowned and dropped her hands.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know."

Buffy looked around, but saw nothing. When she looked back at Willow, the witch's appearance had changed dramatically. Her head was thrown back, eyes closed. Her hair streamed out behind her, darkening as Buffy watched. "Willow," she said sharply.

Willow levitated off the bench. She looked down at Buffy with black eyes and began to scream. A second later, she disappeared. Buffy sprang off the bench and ran toward the manor house.

Nothing was in disarray and no one was hurt. They gathered in Giles' room. When Buffy entered, Dawn left Tara's side and leapt at Buffy. Buffy's arms closed around her sister, and she said in a stunned voice, "Willow's gone. She disappeared."

"What?"

"We were in the garden, and everything was fine and then it wasn't and Will disappeared," Buffy said. She looked at her family. "Are you guys ok?"

Dawn stayed in her sister's arms. One at a time, the others affirmed that they were uninjured. "Dawnie?" Buffy asked.

"I'm okay, Buffy."

"Good." She looked around again. Her eyes rested on Giles. "You said we were safe," she said emotionlessly.

"I believed we were." He was polishing his glasses furiously.

"We need to get Will back."

"We will," Giles said.

Buffy closed her eyes and bowed her head against her sister's shoulder. She wanted to cry, to scream. She wanted to beat something to death, and then beat it some more. She wanted it to be a lie or a dream or anything that ended with Willow whole and unharmed in her embrace.


	9. Chapter 9

Willow was gagged and bound. 'At least there's a chair this time,' she thought. Her head ached, and looking around didn't make it feel any better. There wasn't anything to see, anyway. Walls. A door. She felt the tingle of magicks around her and in her blood.

Concentrating, she picked at the threads of magick around her. She was able to free herself from the chair and remove the tape from across her mouth. She rubbed at the left behind adhesive before standing. She explored the room physically first, then expanded her magicks outward. They couldn't pass the walls. She sat in the chair and waited.

As dusk approached, the Slayer prepared for the hunt. She dressed in black leather and armed herself. She ignored her friends and family and concentrated. She couldn't feel Willow near her like she had become accustomed to. The witch's power was always in Buffy's background, taken for granted. Now that it was gone, she missed it.

The only Scooby to approach her was Tara. "It won't help," she told Buffy softly.

"It gives me something else to think about. Besides, I know Spike is involved with this somehow. I'll kill him, and he'll tell me what he did."

"You might," Tara smiled a little, "want to do that the other way around."

"Whatever," Buffy answered.

"Be careful." Tara told her.

Buffy nodded and left before anyone else could try to talk her out of it.

It didn't take long to find Spike. She beat him furiously, demanding with each strike that he tell her where Willow was. To the final blow, he insisted he knew nothing. Buffy staked him, then continued her hunt.

Long after sunrise, she returned to the manor. She was tired and dirty, but unhurt. She ignored everyone she passed. In the room she had shared with Willow, she stripped and showered, then threw herself into the bed. She couldn't sleep without Willow there, and soon gave up trying. She dressed and went to the kitchen. Buffy ate quickly and went in search of Giles.

He was in the library with Tara, Xander, Anya, two of the watchers in training and half the coven. Everyone had books around them. Buffy headed directly to Tara. She knelt beside the blonde witch's chair. "Do the tinkerbell thing."

"I tried. It just circled me."

"Locator spell."

Tara shook her head.

"She has to be somewhere."

"We'll f-find her." Tara patted Buffy's shoulder.

Buffy stood. She took one of the books off the table and walked with it to an empty chair. If she was bored to sleep, she knew Giles would let her rest.

He did, until lunch was brought in. When the server saw the Slayer, he scurried off to fetch another tray of food. Buffy stood beside Tara to fix a plate. Xander brought a chair for her, so she sat. Buffy ate mechanically. Her appetite wasn't diminished, but her pleasure in eating was. She was worried that Willow was hungry or thirsty or hurt or worse.

"She's okay, Buffy," Tara told her quietly.

"How do you know?"

"I just do."

"I can't feel her, Tara."

"I know. But she's there, I promise."

"This is exactly why I never told her before." Buffy stood, shoving the chair back. It caught in the carpet and fell. She stalked toward the door. Tara was quick to follow her.

"Buffy, stop."

"No time."

"Buffy." Tara reached the Slayer, put her hand on Buffy's shoulder.

Buffy stopped.

"You can't help her like this."

"She's being hurt again, and it's my fault."

"It's not your fault, Buffy." Tara pulled her into a hug. Buffy stood stiffly in her embrace. "Take me to where it happened," she requested.

Buffy nodded and Tara dropped her arms. They walked out of the manor house into the sunshine. As they approached the garden, Buffy's gut twisted with a sickening sense of déjà vu. She stopped well short of the bench and pointed at it.

Tara looked at the bench, saw nothing unusual, then _looked_ and saw the magicks still swirling there. None of them were Willow's. "Giles needs to see this," she said.

"See what?"

"There's m-magick here." Tara frowned and backed away. "C'mon." She tugged Buffy.

It didn't take long to get the others. Soon everyone stood around the bench. Tara and the rest of the Scoobies circled Buffy while Giles, the watchers and three of the witches examined it. They talked quietly to each other about what they saw or didn't. Giles came over to them after a few minutes.

"It's a trap," he explained. "We're trying to figure whether it was for Willow specifically, or any magick user."

Willow was bored. She had counted the stones. There were 3,472. She had done fractal iterations for hours. Periodically, she re-examined her cell, looking for anything different than the last time she checked. So far, each stone was the same. The mortar between them was the same. The door was unchanged. The chair was uncomfortable, the floor was worse, and she wanted to use the bathroom.

The door opened and Willow stood. She wanted to be surprised at who entered, but she wasn't.

"Miss Rosenberg, I trust all is well," Quentin Travers

"It's not."

"Then let's make it that way, shall we?"

"What do you want?"

"The Slayer, of course."

"Here's a newsflash. I'm not her."

Travers smiled thinly at her. "You're not. But you are her weakness."

Willow frowned. Her eyes ran around the cell, noting the open door behind him.

Back in the library, they were checking different books. Giles was talking to himself, and suddenly said loudly, "Of course."

Everyone's eyes turned to him. Giles was oblivious, as he kept reading and making notes without looking away from the page before him. As he finished the page, he realized the others were staring. He looked around at them, his eyes stopping on Buffy, who asked him, "What?"

"I'm not sure yet."

"You sounded sure."

"We'll get her back."

Buffy nodded and went back to reading. Pretending to read. Thinking about Willow. Worrying about Willow.

She snapped to attention as beepers went off all around her. The watcher and the witches looked at their pagers and left at once. When they were alone, Giles cleared his throat. They all looked at him.

"I've been reading the prophecy," he said. There's a mistranslation." He inhaled. "The heart of the Slayer shall be taken, and the Council will fall. The Slayer and her Sorceress will search the realms for their heart. Chaos will reign and the Slayer will bleed until the Sorceress opens the door between them. The Key then will be transformed and their heart restored. "

"You promised," Buffy said softly. "You promised we were safe."

Tara and Dawn both moved her sides.

"We'll get her back," Tara said softly.

Buffy stared at Giles. He refused to look up from the text. "You promised," she said again.

Tara put her arm around Buffy's shoulders. Buffy let Tara push her down into her seat. She looked from Dawn to Tara. "He promised," she said softly.

"We'll get her back," Dawn said. She glared at Giles.

Tara rubbed Buffy's shoulders absentmindedly. Worry poured off of Buffy. It mixed with sadness, and caused her to frown. Buffy said she felt Willow's absence, but Tara didn't. She _knew_ Willow was unhurt. So far.

Buffy was numb. She didn't feel Tara's hands soothing her back. Giles had lied and the Council was involved. Tara was hers, somehow, and Willow was theirs, and they needed Dawn to bring them all together. But doing that would break Dawn. And Buffy kept her promises, especially hers to her mother that Dawn would be protected. But it was _Willow_, and Buffy would give almost anything to have her back. Almost. But not Dawn. Willow wouldn't want her to do that, Buffy knew. If Buffy's choice was between Dawn and Willow, Willow would insist that Buffy choose Dawn. "I hate prophecies," she grumbled.

"You need to rest," Tara told her.

"I can't."

"You have to." Tara tugged her to her feet. She and Dawn steered Buffy out of the library.

They went to Dawn's room and made Buffy lay on the bed. They lay on either side of her.

"She's worried about you," Tara said softly.

"Who?"

"W-willow."

"How do you know?"

"I just do."


	10. Chapter 10

Travers carefully closed and locked the door behind himself. He had the Slayer's witch. That was sure to make her compliant. He smiled to himself and spun the key ring on his finger as he climbed the stairs. Before opening the door to the hall, he composed a dispassionate face. He didn't notice the faint blue glow behind his knee.

Dawn was asleep when the sun first touched the tree line. Buffy carefully moved her arm. When she tried to move Tara's the witch resisted. "You need to rest," she said.

"I need to find Willow."

"It's only been two hours."

"Tara please don't do this."

"Do what?"

"Try to stop me."

"I'm not stopping you. Just d-delaying you."

"Why?"

"I'm not ready to go yet."

"You're not going. One missing witch is plenty."

"I am going." Tara was firm without being argumentative. "You're going to need my help. And Dawn's. At least she has sense enough to sleep."

"I won't hurt her." Buffy looked at her sleeping sister.

"We won't hurt her," Tara agreed. "And we'll get W-willow back."

"How? We don't know where to look."

"I think I do."

"Where?"

"The n-nether realms. Like W-willow did when Faith changed bodies with you. I th-think that's what the prophecy means."

"Let's go." Buffy tried again to sit up.

"We need to get ready first."

Buffy groaned, and Dawn stirred next to her. Tara reached over smoothed her hand across Dawn's forehead and she stilled. Tara sat up, then got out of bed. Buffy followed her. They walked to the table to talk quietly.

"We need a circle. And someone outside it to watch for us."

"Xander," Buffy said. Tara nodded. "Where does Dawn fit in?" Buffy asked.

"I'm not sure." Tara looked across the room, then back at Buffy. "Go get ready. Take a shower, put on something comfortable, come back with something you associate with Willow." Buffy nodded. "Go," Tara urged.

She picked up the phone when Buffy left and dialed Xander and Anya's room. She told Anya, briefly, what they had planned.

"You might want to check with Giles first," Anya suggested. "He translated more of the prophecy."

"Bring him when you come," Tara told her, and hung up the phone. She went to her room to shower and change.

An hour later, everyone was assembled in Dawn's room. The door was locked behind them. Anya and Tara were drawing the circle. Xander and Dawn watched. Giles continued reading. He had made little progress in deciphering the rest of the page. It looked like it was separate from the prophecy. He hoped he was correct and continued to study.

The circle nearly complete, Dawn, Buffy, and Tara entered. Anya closed it behind them. "Stay awake," Tara told Dawn. She began to chant, lighting incense at certain points. Before long, she and Buffy fell against each other.

Buffy had been in complete darkness only once before. She looked around, and saw Tara next to her. They clasped hands and began to walk.

"Where are we going?" Buffy asked.

"Where our heart leads," Tara answered. "Don't let go." She squeezed Buffy's hand.

Tara's next step started their descent. They fell silently. Buffy tried not to think about the last time her body had done this. She had wanted Willow, then, as well. The warmth of Tara's hand in hers stopped her from being scared. Tara loved Willow, too, and together they would get her back.

Tara took another step and they were walking again. Buffy heard voices, but couldn't make out what they said. She saw a point of light in the distance. She squinted at it and pulled Tara forward.

It was so far away. They ran only a few steps and were there. It was a column of light, mostly white, but every other color, too. "The one you seek is not here." The sound was everywhere, and the words made Buffy tense up.

"We'll wait," Tara said mildly.

"She cannot come to you."

"We'll wait," Tara repeated.

"She is beyond your reach."

"We'll wait."

"She cannot come here."

"That so?" Tara asked calmly.

"She is prevented from coming."

"But not barred."

"Her path is clear, when she reaches it. The one who holds her does not understand."

"Who has her?" Buffy demanded.

"She is not here."

"I got that. Where" Tara tugged Buffy's hand, drawing an irate, "What?"

"We need to go. It won't tell us anything else." Tara took a step back and pulled Buffy with her.

Not seeing any choice, the Slayer followed her.

* * *

Willow was shaking. The itch for magick scrabbled at every nerve and caused her to shiver. It called to her with each heartbeat. She refused to give in. She had promised Buffy.

The door opened and Willow hoped it would be Buffy. But it was Travers again, smirking at her.

"Miss Rosenberg."

She ignored him.

"The Slayer is quite distraught at your absence. All of your friends are researching feverishly."

"What do you want?"

"The Slayer. She'll come to me in good time."

"I wouldn't want to be you when she does."

Travers chuckled. "She won't hurt me."

"I will." Willow raised her hand. A purple ball left it and moved toward Travers. It bounced away from him. Willow caught it easily and folded her hand around it. It disappeared.

"You really shouldn't have done that." Travers smile was gleeful. He took half a step closer to the door. Something dark slithered past him, and he stepped into the corridor, pulling the door closed behind him.

Willow swallowed hard. Whatever it was circled her slowly. She put up a shield and it flowed over it, then into the stone. She felt the coldness half a second before the pain began at her ankles.

* * *

"They're not waking up." Dawn's voice was tight with panic.

"They will," Anya assured her.

"I'm awake, Dawnie," Buffy said groggily.

"Well?"

Buffy ignored the question while she moved. Her butt was numb and her shoulders ached. She reached her hands up to massage Tara's.

"Mmmmm." Tara slowly moved her head around. She opened her eyes. Buffy's were the first thing she saw. Tara pushed hair off Buffy's face. "You ok?" she asked, so quietly that only Buffy heard.

Buffy nodded once. She squeezed Tara's collarbones once and pulled back. She stretched, leaning backward and looking up. She blinked once to clear her vision but it was still there. "Tara, are you doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"That."

Tara looked up. "It's not me." She got to her feet hastily and dismissed the circle. Buffy took the hand she offered and stood, too.

"Willow?" Tara asked uncertainly.

The blue light bobbed, then dimmed.

Buffy's eyes widened and she looked to Tara. Tara was frowning. The blue light flared brightly, then disappeared. Tara frowned.

"That's not good, is it?" Buffy asked.

"No." Tara drew a deep breath. She needed time to think, but she didn't think there was much before something bad happened to Willow. They had experimented with the spell hundreds of time, and it had never done that. Still, Willow had reached them once, even if she couldn't get to the nether realms. First, she realized, she had to calm Buffy. She felt the panic rolling off her. Tara squeezed Buffy's hand as hard as she could. "We'll find her," she said in a voice far calmer than she felt.


	11. Chapter 11

Buffy went off to kill things. They could call it patrol if they wanted, but Buffy knew she was hunting for Willow, and knew she would kill anything that prevented or even delayed their reunion. Shortly after sunrise, she stood a few feet from the bench Willow had disappeared from. She wasn't surprised when Tara joined her.

"We were happy," Buffy said quietly. "She felt better and we were glad to be together."

"I know."

"I don't want to do this without her."

"We'll get her back." Tara tilted her head to the side. She could still see the afterimages of the magicks that took Willow. They looked familiar somehow. "How did Spike know where we are?" she asked Buffy.

"I dunno. I didn't ask and he didn't volunteer."

"Ask him."

"Can't. I staked him. He swore he didn't know anything about Willow."

Tara nodded. She had overheard the Council members talking. There wasn't a demon of any kind within 10 kilometers of the manor house. Buffy had annihilated them. The watchers who trailed her every night had been astonished at the Slayer's efficiency. "You need to rest," she said softly and slid her hand into Buffy's. She tugged and the Slayer followed.

Buffy let Tara lead her back inside. She ate what food was put in front of her, and let Tara pull her from the table when she finished. She stopped at the door to her room and refused to enter. "We have things to do," she pleaded.

"You can't help her if you're too tired to think straight."

"Miss Summers, Miss Maclay, so glad I caught you."

Buffy rolled her eyes, then turned. "Mr. Travers."

"Rupert would like you to join him in the library."

"Thank you," Buffy answered.

"Please let me know if you need anything." Travers nodded to them, turned and walked away.

Tara's eyes widened when she noticed the faint blue glow behind his left knee. She nudged Buffy and motioned with her head at his retreating form. When she was sure he was out of earshot, she asked, "Did you see that?"

"No."

"At the back of his knee."

Buffy looked back down the hall. She saw the glow on the back of his pants but it meant nothing to her. She looked back to Tara.

"It's a tag. It's Willow's magick," Tara whispered. She held on to Buffy's hand, but still wasn't ready for the jerk as Buffy moved. "Wait,' Tara ordered. She pushed into the room, dragging Buffy behind, and closed the door behind them. "You can't just jump him, Buffy."

"Sure, I can." Buffy's voice was calm. "And after he tells me where Willow is, I'll kill him."

"No, you won't. We'll tell Giles about this. And we'll watch him. I tagged his other leg, to let Will know we saw her mark."

"When we get her back, we're going home to the Hellmouth, where it's safe."

"Agreed. Now you need to rest. You were up fighting all night, and you didn't sleep yesterday."

Buffy shook her head.

"I know how you feel," Tara told her. "I love her, too."

"I'm sorry. She was hurting so bad and you weren't there anymore. I couldn't not tell her, not."

Tara snickered. It stopped Buffy's panic and its accompanying stream of words.

"What?" Buffy demanded.

"You're babbling."

Buffy snickered, too. "Kissing disease." She grinned at Tara.

Tara smiled back, blushing and nodding. She pushed Buffy further into the room. "I want you to rest. Even if you don't s-sleep, just lay down for a while."

"Giles wants us."

"Giles can w-w-wait. I'll tell him where you are."

"Tara, I can't waste time resting when Willow's wherever she is."

Tara put on the mom voice she used when Dawn was recalcitrant. "You can rest, and you will rest, and it's not a w-waste. If you don't wake up by lunch time, I'll get you up then."

Buffy sighed, realizing she was defeated. "Lunch?" she asked.

"Lunch," Tara answered.

"Okay." Buffy threw herself onto the bed.

Tara joined the others in the library. "Buffy's resting," she said before Giles could ask. She sat at the table and reached for a notepad. While the others talked, she wrote out what they had seen. They passed it around. Giles got it last. He nodded at Tara and continued talking. When he finished, he moved next to Tara. They appeared to be working together over one book, but were writing notes back and forth. Within an hour they had formulated a plan. They divided the duties, writing each one and passing them among each other until everyone had something to do.

A few minutes before noon, Tara left to wake Buffy for lunch. Dawn was passing the library when Tara stepped out, and they went together to get Buffy.

Buffy was tying her boots when they came through the door. She looked at Tara, who shook her head that nothing had changed. Buffy stood and hugged Dawn.

"Anything new with Willow?" Dawn asked.

"No."

"You'll find her," Dawn said confidently.

"Yeah," Buffy agreed. What worried her most was what would happen to Willow before then.

They walked down to lunch together. Dawn told them about her tutoring that morning. The Scoobies sat at one table and ate. They talked casually, putting out information about their plans for the afternoon for the others to hear.

After lunch, Tara and Buffy walked through the gardens. They stood again near the bench, and Tara told Buffy what everyone would really be doing that afternoon. Magicks still hung in the air around the bench, and Tara examined them again. This time she was able to pull the thread that led to where Willow had been taken. She closed her eyes so she could concentrate better.

Buffy frowned and put her hand on Tara's shoulder. That gave Tara strength to follow the thread deep underground and toward the back of the mansion. It ended abruptly at a black cube. Realizing what it was, Tara backed away.

She looked at Buffy. "She's still here. Under there." Tara gestured toward the manor house. "You can't feel her because she's locked in."

"Is she ok?"

"I think so."

* * *

Willow wasn't aware when it stopped actively hurting her. She had long ago curled into a fetal position in the far corner. She didn't look up when the door opened, or respond to Travers' greeting. "Miss Rosenberg, so nice to see you again. I just left the Slayer and the other witch. They send their greetings." He paused for a moment. "Perhaps when I return you'll feel more like talking. Good day."

She heard him turn and opened her eyes just enough to check that her mark was still on his pants. She saw Tara's mark on his other leg, and blinked, sure that it was wishful thinking. It was still there when she looked again. Willow closed her eyes. They would come. Buffy would come. And she would keep her promise. Willow forced herself to sit up. She put her back to the wall and began counting the stones again. She scratched absently at her hands. They itched the worst.

* * *

After dinner, everyone but Buffy gathered in Dawn's room. Buffy was patrolling, because she had been doing it every night and didn't want to spook Travers by changing her routine. Xander spread the blueprints he had acquired on the table. Tara tried the location spell that Anya had modified. She blew the powder across the blueprints. A moment later, one cluster of red dots and several of blue showed up. "That's us," Tara pointed at the red dots. A yellow dot followed by a trail of blue dots moved along the edge of the blueprints. "That's Buffy." A green dot moved through the building. "That's Travers."

"He's in the other wing," Xander said.

They watched the green dot move. It stopped and started frequently, moving finally off the map. Xander frowned. "There's not supposed to be anything there."

"The blueprints are not complete. The Council would show the local officials only what they want them to know," Giles said.

As they watched, the yellow and green dots intersected for a moment, then separated. "He's underground," Tara said. "Otherwise he and Buffy would have stopped to talk."

* * *

"Miss Rosenberg," Quentin Travers greeted her. "You're looking better."

Willow glared at him with black eyes from the far corner of the room.

"Your absence has whipped the Slayer into quite a frenzy. I must say I'm impressed at her skill." When Willow didn't respond, he continued. "The dynamic between Miss Summers and Miss Maclay has changed most interestingly. Wherever one is, you see the other. Especially in Miss Summers' quarters."

Willow looked in the corner over Travers' head and began counting the stones again.

"If I were a gambling man, I'd wager they'll be having sex soon. Perhaps tomorrow morning, after Miss Summers completes her patrol."

Willow ignored him. She scratched her at right hand with her left as she counted each stone in the row.

"I'll be sure to let you know how it turns out." He smiled at her and backed out, pulling the door closed.

Willow continued counting. She pushed a piece of hair back from her face, leaving a bloody streak in its place, then went back to scratching her bleeding hands.


	12. Chapter 12

Buffy pretended to ignore the watchers trailing her. She worked her way systematically away from the manor, interrogating and killing each demon she came across. After an hour, she put on a burst of speed and left the watchers behind.

She followed the directions she had memorized, glad that they were precise. She hadn't wanted to do this. Buffy distrusted everyone except her family. She came because she wanted to believe that Giles had been duped.

The Slayer knocked on the door. The woman who opened it was gorgeous. The phrase "black Irish" popped into Buffy's head, and she knew it applied to the woman asking, "Miss Summers?"

"Yes."

"Come in."

Buffy looked at her again before crossing the threshold. Inside, with the door closed, she felt immediately at ease. She looked around, thinking, 'Tara would love this.'

"Who is Tara?"

"Who are you?" Buffy fired back.

"I thought Rupert explained that to you."

'We're not so much with the talking right now."

The woman nodded slowly. She gestured for Buffy to follow her into the house.

They sat at a table in the middle of the room. Dining room, Buffy guessed. Each time her eyes moved, something else caught her attention.

"I'm Aislin Erskine." She offered a hand to Buffy.

Buffy accepted. "Buffy Summers." Buffy dropped her hand and reached into a pocket on her jacket. She pulled out folded papers and handed them to Aislin.

Aislin unfolded the packet. There were three sheets of paper. The first was a note to her from Giles. The second was a copy of the prophecy and the text surrounding it. The third was a summary of what had happened. While Aislin read, Buffy examined the walls. They were painted dark red. Bundles of plants hung from the open rafters. The walls were covered with photos, paintings and textiles. The longer she sat at the table, the more relaxed she became.

When Aislin finished reading, she looked at Buffy speculatively. "Tell me what happened."

"We were sitting in the garden. Willow got this funny look on her face, so I asked her what was wrong. She said she didn't know, so I looked around. When I looked back, Will was floating. Her hair was black and her eyes were black and she was screaming and then she disappeared."

"Before that."

Buffy frowned. "How much before?"

"Before you died."

Buffy decided to play along. "Which time?"

Aislin was unperturbed. "The last time."

"It's a really long story, and I'm kind of in a hurry."

"It's important. And there's time. You talk, I'll fix tea."

Buffy sighed as Aislin rose from her seat. "Where do you want me to start?"

"Wherever you feel appropriate."

Buffy drew a deep breath. "There was this hell god who was banished and wanted to go home. She was convinced I had the key to the dimension she wanted to open. Turns out, the key is my sister, who was a ball of energy a bunch of monks conjured and put in our lives. While we're figuring this out, we're being harassed by a bunch of monks in chain mail and the skanky hell god is going around scrambling people's brains. She thought Tara was the key, and when she found out she wasn't, she scrambled her brains, too.

"So the hell god figures out that Dawn's the key, and busts down Willow's barrier and snatches Dawn and disappears. Dawn's gonna die and the world's gonna end if Glory gets her way, so we stopped her. But the ritual had started, and the only way to stop it was for me or Dawn to die. It couldn't be Dawn, so I jumped through the portal."

"And died." Aislin set a mug in front of Buffy.

Buffy sniffed the tea before sipping it. It tasted good. "What kind of tea is this? Nothing Giles drinks is this good."

"What happened after you died?"

"My friends brought me back. Willow went on a magick bender, and here we are."

"Tell me about your family."

Buffy sipped more tea. "My mom died while all that stuff was going on with Glory. Everybody's really good about helping with Dawn." She sipped again. "This is really good."

"Thank you. Go on."

"Dawn's like five years younger than I am. She's grown up a lot this year. It's been really hard for everybody. There's all that teenage angst and all the stuff with being the Key, and then Mom died."

"Where's your father?"

Buffy snorted. "He bailed on us a long time ago." She sipped at the now half-empty mug. "Let's see. There's Xander, we've been friends since high school. Anya's his fiancée. She was a vengeance demon but now she's mortal." Buffy waved her hand. "Another long story we can get into another time." She sipped from the mug again. "You obviously know Giles."

Aislin nodded. "Tell me about the witches."

Buffy smiled. "Tara was Willow's girlfriend, but they broke up because of Willow's magick problem. She's probably the strongest person I know." Buffy emptied the mug.

"And Willow?" Aislin prodded.

Buffy's smile got bigger, then faded. "She has a problem. That's why we came here." She frowned. "Giles said everything would be okay, but it isn't. They keep hurting her." Buffy looked at Aislin. "There was something in the tea," she said with a loopy grin.

"There was. I'm sorry."

"What is it with you English people drugging Slayers all the time?" Buffy demanded.

Aislin smiled. "Tell me about Willow."

Buffy's grin returned. "She's perfect," she said, and then her smile disappeared. "I can't feel her."

"Can't feel her how?"

"I dunno, her energy. Her Willowness. She disappeared and it's gone." She focused carefully on Aislin. "I can't feel her, and it hurts worse than anything, ever."

"Do you know where she is?"

"Kinda, but not really. Cause if I did, she'd be right here. And when I get her back, somebody's gonna pay. They can't hurt my Willow and get away with it."

Aislin nodded. "You know she's not your mage."

"Who cares? She's my Willow. That's all she ever needs to be."

"Do you know why Rupert sent you here?"

Buffy shrugged. "Could be a wild goose chase. Something to keep me busy while the Council dreams up some new way to annoy me."

"Rupert isn't part of the Council."

"He brought us here."

"He did," Aislin agreed. "But what happened distresses him greatly. He fears that it will destroy your relationship with him."

"If he doesn't have anything to do with it, he doesn't have to worry."

"Tell me about Willow," Aislin asked again.

Buffy's smile returned when she heard the redhead's name. She passed out, falling face first into the table.

Buffy opened her eyes and looked around. It was dark except in the circle of kaleidoscope light thrown by the fire. "Crap," she said quietly, and settled back on her heels to wait. It didn't take long.

When she saw the First Slayer step out of the shadows across from her, Buffy nodded. "I knew it," she said. "What this time? Death still my gift?"

The First Slayer stared at her, then squatted on her side of the fire. They watched each other.

Buffy, impatient, asked, "What?"

"You touch darkness but it does not touch you."

"Can we skip the cryptic stuff this time? If you know how I can get Willow back, just tell me." When there was no reply, Buffy stood. "I don't need this right now." She turned her back on the fire and strode away.

She walked through the darkness. There was nothing to differentiate anything, no stars, no light. Nothing. But she felt something near.

* * *

Tara stopped reading and frowned. She rubbed her forehead. She was missing something. It was right there, but she couldn't see it or reach it. Something simple. She looked around the library at her friends – family, she corrected herself. Minus a blond Slayer and a redheaded witch. She stood and stretched. "I need a break," she said softly.

Everyone except Dawn acknowledged her silently. "Me, too." She looked at Tara. "Ice cream."

"Okay, but then you finish your homework."

"Deal."

They went to the kitchen. It was empty, and the small noises they made - the spoons chattering against each other in the drawer, the bowls sliding across the counter, the hum of the freezer from the open door – grated on her nerves. Willow's absence worried her. Buffy's rage at it worried her more. The Slayer was uncontrolled and wild. Tara had never seen her like that.

Dawn dished out ice cream for both of them and returned the carton to the freezer. They sat at the counter and ate. Neither of them felt like talking, and whenever Dawn looked at Tara, she knew the blonde was thinking hard. Dawn wanted to say something to make it easier, but didn't know what that might be. The prophecy distressed her, too. Chaos was bad, and Buffy bleeding was bad. Whatever would happen to her would happen, and didn't trouble her much. She had resigned herself to dying once before, and that feeling lingered. She was more concerned that Tara and Buffy and Willow would refuse to do what might be necessary because it would harm her. "Tara?"

"What Dawnie?"

"I don't know how to say this, exactly."

"S-s-s-say what?"

"I want you guys do what you have to to save Willow."

"We will," Tara answered absently. Her brain was still trying to figure out what she couldn't see.

"Even if it means that I" her voice dropped. "Die. Even then."

"It won't come to that." Tara brought her focus to Dawn.

"If it does, I want you to promise you'll do whatever has to be done."

"We won't hurt you, Dawn. An-and we won't let you be hurt."

"I heard the prophecy, too."

"It w-w-w-won't be l-l-like that."

"Promise me, Tara."

"No." Tara got up and came around the counter. She stood beside Dawn and put her arm around the teenager. "We haven't come through everything to just give up. We'll find Willow and everyone," Tara stressed, "will be safe."  
Dawn turned on her stool and leaned into Tara. Tara put her other arm around the girl. Dawn returned the hug. "If you have to choose between them, either one of them, and me, I want you to choose them."

"No," Tara repeated. "I don't know how we'll do it, but everyone is coming home."


	13. Chapter 13

_Damn it, I lost count. Have to start again. Buffy's coming. One. _Willow scratched her left forearm with her right hand and her left thigh with her left. She didn't feel the blood that oozed, or the scabs that had started to cover where she had scratched before. _No magick. No magick. Buffy's coming, and I promised her I won't. Nine. Ten. _She rubbed her back against the wall, trying to ease the itch. It was everywhere. _What do they want this time? I'm nobody, just a computer geek. Eleven. Buffy's coming. Twelve. What's that? Was it there before? I don't remember it. Buffy's coming. _

* * *

Buffy stopped. "Show yourself," she demanded.

The First Slayer stepped into her sight.

"What now?"

"Watch."

Buffy looked where the First Slayer pointed. She saw Giles arguing with Travers. She saw the Council, the full Council around a u-shaped table. Giles arguing again. The Council members arrayed around the Magic Box, trying to intimidate her. The Council again, and her family standing in the center of their table. But Travers wasn't there. The Magic Box, and everyone around the big table, researching. Everyone but the witches. A room that tried not to look like a hospital room but didn't quite make it, Willow sitting in a chair, staring out the window.

Buffy frowned and turned to look at the First Slayer but she was gone. When she turned back to what she had been watching, it was gone, too. "Stupid Slayer dreams," she muttered, and began walking again. It was less dark, somehow, in the direction she was walking, so she continued.

* * *

Tara and Dawn returned to the library, and Dawn resumed her homework. Tara picked up the book she had set aside earlier. She still couldn't shake the feeling that what she was looking for was in front of her, unrecognized.

Xander stood and stretched. "We're going to do that thing," he said and nodded at the blueprints, now in a neat roll in the center of the table.

"Be careful," Tara said softly. Both Xander and Anya nodded.

That left Dawn, Tara, and Giles around the table. Tara moved so she could sit beside Giles. "I keep thinking we're m-missing something big."

"Hopefully, Buffy will bring back some information."

"What if she doesn't?"

"We'll continue to look."

"For how long?"

Giles pulled his glasses off and set them on the open page of the book before him. "As long as it takes."

"I'm not sure either of them will last much longer."

"Don't underestimate them."

"Giles, think for a minute. They haven't been apart in years."

Dawn looked up. "Not since Buffy ran away."

Tara turned to Dawn. "Wh-what happened then?"

"I dunno. Something big. Will got hurt and Mom and Buffy had a big fight. Buffy freaked and ran away."

"Angelus," Giles said, "was trying to raise a demon who could destroy the world. Willow restored his soul just before Buffy killed him."

Dawn's eyes got big. "Wow. I thought Buffy was just mad at Mom."

"When was this?" Tara asked.

"Four years ago," Giles answered.

"Did you tell the coven about that?"

"No. It has nothing to do with why we're here now."

Tara looked at Giles as if he had lost his mind. "W-w-willow's been working dark magicks for four years and you don't th-think it has anything to do w-with w-w-why w-we're here now?"

"That wasn't dark."

"She bound a soul to a d-demon." Tara was incredulous.

Giles frowned, thinking. He looked at Tara again. "That's not all that was bound, was it?"

"I don't th-think so."

Dawn closed her book and raised her hand. "I think I just missed something."

"The enjoining spell," Giles said absently, as he thought about all that had happened between his Slayer and her best friend.

Dawn turned to Tara. "What is he talking about?"

"Adam," Tara answered, her gaze still fixed on Giles.

"What?"

Tara turned to Dawn. "I'll explain it later. Are you finished with your homework?"

"No," Dawn admitted.

"Dawnie," Tara began.

"I know, I know," Dawn interrupted. "Homework first, save the world later." She sighed and opened her book. "You guys never let me help," she groused.

Giles put his glasses back on and pushed the book away. He turned to a fresh page in his tablet and began to jot down what he could remember about the magicks Willow had used. When he finished, he passed it to Tara.

She scanned his outline. It started with Willow's restoration of Angel's soul and ended with Buffy's resurrection. Tara added a few things at the end, about spells she and Willow had done together, and a few she knew Willow had performed on her own, and passed it back to Giles. He read it quickly, his eyebrows going up at Tara's additions. "Do you know how powerful she is?"

Tara shook her head.

* * *

The blackness had segued into a uniform gray as Buffy continued to walk. She knew the First Slayer was still nearby, although she couldn't see her. Buffy resented each second spent doing anything except trying to get Willow back. When the First Slayer materialized beside her, Buffy, without stopping, asked, "What, time for more movies?"

"Her journey is not yours."

"I don't care."

"You cannot choose for her."

"Skip the relationship counseling and get to the point."

She didn't get an answer and knew she was alone again.

Buffy sat up. It took her a second to orient herself, and then she saw Aislin across the table. "I so did not need that now."

"Maybe," Aislin answered.

"Anything else you want to do to me? Oooo, I know, let's do that thing with the wacko vampire again."

"You don't need any more tests, Buffy." Aislin slid a sheet of paper across the table to Buffy. "Please take this to Rupert."

Buffy looked at the sketches on the paper. They meant nothing to her. She folded the paper and put it in her pocket. "Anything else?"

Aislin smiled. "Next time, bring Willow and Tara." She looked toward the window. "It's nearly dawn. You should go back."

Buffy stood, and followed Aislin to the door. Aislin put her hand on the Slayer's shoulder. "She'll be home soon."

* * *

Willow hugged her knees to her chest and rocked herself. Each backward drive banged her head against the wall, but she didn't feel it. She didn't hear the door open, or see Travers standing in the doorway, or hear him speak.

Travers scowled when Willow didn't respond. He stepped further into the room, trying to provoke a reaction from her. When that failed, he moved closer, until he was standing directly in front of her. He knelt before her, and put his hand under her chin. Before he could lift her face toward his own, he was blown across the room.

Willow screamed at his touch. The release of power was involuntary, but so soothing. Even so, she repeated, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," sobbing between each statement.

Across the room, Travers lay unmoving. The door remained open.

* * *

Tara jerked awake and sat up. Something was wrong. Something dark and powerful and bad had driven her from pleasant dreams. It took her a moment to associate it with Willow. She climbed out of bed, and pulled on the jeans she had taken off a few hours before. She jammed her feet into her boots and hurriedly tied the laces, then picked up the sweater from the chair and pulled it over her head. She stepped into the hallway and saw Giles. "You f-felt it, too?" she asked.

"Yes." He looked more worried than usual.

Buffy was jogging toward the manor when she suddenly felt Willow's presence. It felt wrong, though, and Buffy knew something was amiss. She increased her speed, racing through the dark toward the mansion. She blew past one of the watchers without acknowledging him, and ignored his calls to slow.


	14. Chapter 14

Giles cleared the table while Tara prepared what she would need for the locator spell. He spread the blueprints and anchored the corners with books. Before beginning the spell, Tara prayed that it would work. She drew a deep breath and was about to begin when Buffy slammed through the library doors.

When Buffy saw what they were doing, she said, "You felt it, too?"

Tara nodded.

"Something's wrong with Will."

"I know," Tara answered.

"Did Xander find what he was looking for?"

"Yes," Giles answered.

"Then we don't need the spell. Let's go." Buffy turned to leave. As she turned, she saw a pair of swords hanging on the wall and changed her direction. "That might be handy," she said, stretching in a vain attempt to reach one. Giles reached over her shoulder and lowered one sword to Buffy's level. He pulled the other down for himself.

Buffy let Giles lead she and Tara through the manor. He stopped in front of a door that looked no different than the others along the hallway. He tried to open it, but it was locked. He reached over the doorframe and moved his fingers along its length. There was a key in his hand when he pulled it down. Giles unlocked the door and pushed it open, then stepped aside to let Buffy go through first.

Tara passed through behind Buffy. Giles brought up the rear, stopping to close and lock the door behind them. He slipped the key into his pocket.

The passageway was a series of stairs, landings, and locked doors that the key opened. The last door was open. Buffy restrained herself from running through it when she heard the sounds coming from past it. She knew Willow was making them.

Buffy looked around. She felt nothing dangerous. There was a man lying face down near one wall, and Willow against the wall opposite him. Buffy dropped the sword and charged toward Willow.

Willow was still rocking herself and sobbing. There was a bloody patch on the wall where her head continued to strike it in a regular rhythm. Buffy knelt beside her. "Will?"

Willow didn't acknowledge her. Buffy moved one hand so Willow's head would hit it instead of the wall. She tried again to get the witch's attention. "Willow?"

Willow's head bounced off Buffy's palm. The squishing sound it made sent Buffy's stomach into a slow roll. She turned to find Tara kneeling beside her. Tara reached for Willow tentatively. She touched Willow's forearm.

Willow screamed, "No!"

Like Travers before, Tara was blown across the room. She knocked over Giles, who was examining Travers. They lay in a heap for a few moments, until Giles was able to help Tara sit up. She was shaking, her breathing uneven as she looked to Buffy.

Buffy was stunned. "You all right?"

Tara nodded, and Giles answered, "I think so."

"What about him?"

"Dead."

"Good." Buffy turned back to Willow. "Wills, it's Buffy," she said softly. "I know you're hurting, but we have to get you out of here."

Willow continued to rock. Her head rebounded from Buffy's palm every few seconds. She gave no indication that she was aware of anything around her.

Buffy continued talking quietly to her. "I need you to help me just a little, Wills. I'm going to move you away from the wall first, okay. Not far, just enough so I can pick you up." She leaned closer "I love you, Will. Please let me do this."

Buffy lowered the arm behind Willow until it went around her shoulders. The other went across her shins, then up her thigh to her hip. Buffy lifted Willow just enough to get her off the stones, and maneuvered her toward the center of the room. The entire time, she spoke in a low voice that was far calmer than she felt.

She sat Willow down again, and slowly unfolded her. She continued to talk in a voice just above a whisper, to soothe herself as much as Willow. Buffy gently separated Willow's arms and removed them from around her legs. She deliberately didn't look closely at Willow. Buffy gently stretched Willow's legs, repressing the spikes of rage that followed Willow's whimpers of pain. She arranged herself so she could lift Willow from the floor and get to her feet in one motion.

Buffy did that and turned to Giles and Tara. "Let's go," she said impatiently.

"Buffy," Giles began.

"Now," Buffy growled.

Giles helped Tara to her feet and led her to the door.

Buffy stopped in the hall. "Lock the door."

Giles didn't hesitate, but Buffy didn't wait to see. She started climbing the stairs.

When Tara and Giles arrived at the final door, Buffy was sitting with her back against it. She cradled Willow, now silent, against her chest, and got to her feet when she saw them. Giles opened the door and they stepped into the hall. Giles pulled the door shut behind them and locked it again. The key went back in his pocket.

He took half a dozen quick steps and opened the door opposite the one they had just exited. He found the light switch just inside the door and flicked it on. The room was unoccupied, so he waved Buffy into it.

By the time Buffy reached the bed, Giles had the covers pulled back. He was at the table, with the phone receiver at his ear. Buffy ignored him and laid Willow in the bed. She sat beside her and saw for the first time the bloody scarecrow that was the woman she loved. Buffy tenderly lifted Willow's hand and laid Willow's palm against her own. She felt Tara standing beside her, and turned to see Tara staring at Willow.

Tara tore her gaze from the redhead and looked at Buffy. Willow's blood was on her face, hands, and clothes. She had the same bewildered look that she had during the first few days after Joyce's death. Tara took a half step closer and hugged Buffy against her.

Neither woman noticed when Giles hung up the phone and came to stand at the opposite side of the bed. "A doctor is on the way."

Buffy turned to him. "We're finished with the Council."

"We are," he agreed.

"Tell them that whoever else was in on this is dead."

Giles nodded. He was mentally cataloging their allies and enemies. Buffy turned back to Willow.

"We need to call the others," Tara said quietly.

Giles nodded again, and moved back to the phone. Tara stayed close to Buffy, resting her hand on Buffy's shoulder. She prayed that they were all strong enough to get through this.

Someone told Buffy and Tara, "You'll have to move, ma'am."

Without removing her gaze from Willow, Buffy said, "No."

"I can't help her if."

"No," Buffy repeated.

Tara turned, but didn't move away from Buffy. "Go to the other side," she said softly.

"I," he started again.

Buffy stood up. She didn't let go of Willow's hand, but twisted to face the man who was being so insistent. "I'm not leaving. I'm not moving. If you have a problem, you move."

He backed out of Buffy's reach before turning to leave. Buffy returned to her seat.

"Giles, tell Xander to bring the first aid kit," Tara called.

"Buffy! Buffy!"

"In here, Dawn."

Dawn skidded to a stop in front of Tara. Tara deliberately placed her body between Dawn and the bed. Dawn tried to peer around her. "Buffy's okay," Tara told her.

"Where's Willow?"

"She's here. She's hurt." Tara moved Dawn toward Giles at the table, and got her to sit in one of the chairs. "We're going to fix it, okay. The best thing you can do for them is sit here. We're going to need your help later, but right now, I need you to stay here."

"Is she going to die?"

Buffy answered before Tara could. "No," she said firmly. "She's going to get better, and we're going home."

Dawn stayed where Tara put her. She picked at the edges of her cast. Giles continued to make calls. Tara went to the bathroom and returned with some wet washcloths. She handed one to Buffy and walked around the bed. She sat on the other side. Buffy had begun wiping Willow's face.

Before she touched Willow, Tara spoke to her. "Will, I'm going to clean you up. You're safe now." Tara started with Willow's hand. Willow flinched no matter how gently Tara touched her. Tara continued anyway. She ignored the tears the trickled down her face as she cleaned Willow's tattered skin. Touching Willow still made her skin crawl. The feelings it gave her were stronger and so much worse than they had been right after Willow's crash.

Xander put the first aid kit down beside Tara. He looked at Willow, and took a step back before he passed out. Anya surveyed Willow before kneeling beside Xander. "Good job," she muttered. She slapped Xander's cheeks lightly. "C'mon Xander, we need you awake."

"Will," he said weakly.

"Doesn't need you fainting," she finished for him. She got him to sit up, then helped him to his feet. "If you're going to be a wuss about it, go sit with Dawn."

He sat in the chair and put his head down between his knees. Dawn patted his shoulder awkwardly.

"Dawn, we need a basin or a bowl or something to hold warm water," Anya told her. Dawn, relieved to have something to do, sprinted out of the room. Anya went to the bathroom and returned with clean washcloths. She took the ones Tara and Buffy had been using and left these in return, then returned to the bathroom to rinse them clean.

Dawn was back quicker than Anya expected. She shoved a ceramic washbasin at her. "Good job, Dawn, thanks."

"Is she going to be all right?" Dawn asked Anya, knowing that she would tell her the truth.

"I don't know." Anya tested the temperature of the water coming from the tap, adjusted it, and shoved the basin under the water. When she was satisfied with the amount of water in the basin, she turned off the water. Dawn stepped aside to let her leave the bathroom.

Anya took the basin to Tara and sat it on the bed beside her. Then she went to check on Xander. He was sitting up, pale, and staring at the bed.

Giles hung up the phone, and Anya asked her, "Did you call anyone from the coven?"

"Yes, they're on the way."

Buffy looked over her shoulder at Giles. "Call Aislin," she ordered.

"I did."

Buffy nodded and turned back to Willow. She handed the washcloth she had been using across Willow's body to Tara. Tara handed her a clean one and returned to cleaning Willow's arm. When she finished, she opened the first aid kit. She smeared antibiotic cream in a thick layer across Willow's skin.

"Buffy, we need to get her shirt off."

"Xander," Buffy called. "We need your shirt."

Xander nodded and pulled the t-shirt he was wearing over his head. Anya took it from him. "You need to leave," she told him softly. "Get another shirt, and go to Buffy's room and get her some clean clothes. Take Dawn."

He swallowed hard and nodded again before pushing himself out of the chair. He crossed the room quickly, and put an arm around Dawn. "C'mon Dawnster, let's do what the major domo ordered."

They were barely gone when Tara began cutting at Willow's clothes. When she finished, she handed the scissors to Anya. "Split the shirt up the back."

"Got it."

"Buffy, I'm afraid this is going to hurt her," Tara said tentatively.

"Just do it."

Tara bit her lower lip, then began pulling the remains of Willow's clothes away from her body. Every place fabric stuck to Willow's skin, both she and Tara flinched. "I'm sorry," Tara said each time. She wanted to vomit, but set her jaw and continued to work. When Willow was bare, they finished washing her. Tears continued to fall from Tara's eyes. The body she had loved so well no longer existed. Willow was skeletally thin, bruised and scraped everywhere.

Buffy moved enough for Tara to slather a layer of the antibiotic cream on Willow's other arm. Then she and Buffy sat Willow up long enough to slide Xander's shirt up her arms. While they did that, Anya pulled out the bloody pillow Willow had been using and put another in its place. Then she emptied the basin and filled it with clean water so they could wash Willow's legs.

Willow's thighs were covered with the same deep scratches that marred her arms. Buffy let Tara and Anya finish cleaning Willow. She sat, holding Willow's palm against her own, and stared at Willow's face.

When no one from the coven arrived in the next few minutes, Giles knew where their allegiance lay. He stayed on the far side of the room from the bed and continued to make calls. There would be a meeting of the full Council later that day, and Giles knew that his Slayer would not leave Willow's side to attend. If he were fortunate, the rest of them would accompany him.

When Dawn and Xander returned, they brought clothes for Buffy and drinks for everyone. With the exception of Tara, the rest of the group stayed around the table. Tara stayed at Willow's side across from the Slayer.

"Buffy." Tara had to repeat herself several times before she got the Slayer's attention. "Go clean yourself up. I'll stay with her." Tara slid her hand under Willow's. "I won't let go of her, I promise."

Buffy leaned over and kissed Willow's forehead. "I'll be right back," she said. She went into the bathroom. Dawn had laid her clothes in a pile on the back of the toilet. Buffy closed the door and stripped. She turned the shower on and let the water get hot before getting in. The hot water felt good on muscles that had been tensed for too long, but Buffy didn't linger. She dried and dressed herself and was back at Willow's side in ten minutes.

Aislin came in a few minutes later. She bypassed the bed and went to Giles. They talked quietly for a few minutes before Aislin approached Buffy. "I'm sorry," she said softly.

"Can you help her?"

"I'll do my best." Aislin looked across Willow to Tara. "I'll need your help."


	15. Chapter 15

Tara stepped away from the bed to speak with Aislin. She pulled Anya into their conversation. The three of them spoke in low voices and gestured occasionally. After a few minutes, Anya left. Tara and Aislin continued to talk. Dawn came to Tara's side and leaned against her. Accustomed as she was to the hospital watch, she still needed comfort. Tara put her arm around Dawn. Talking with Aislin made Tara feel better, calmer and centered. That she was gorgeous didn't hurt any, either.

They finished their planning. Tara sat at the table and drank the lukewarm coffee Dawn had brought for her. Dawn sat beside her. Xander and Giles were talking in the corner. Aislin sat opposite Buffy on the bed.

She looked at Willow, then at Buffy. She frowned. "It's not your fault," she told Buffy softly.

Buffy jerked her head around to look at Aislin. "Yes, it is. I brought her here. I made her come."

"You didn't do this to her. It's not in you to hurt her."

"That's all I do," Buffy said bitterly.

"No." Aislin reached over Willow and laid her hand on Buffy's forearm. "You love her and you protect her as best you can. You believe in her, even when she doesn't believe in herself. That's all you've done, and all you can do." Aislin looked down at Willow. "I need to touch you," she told her softly. "I'll try not to hurt you." Aislin left her hand on Buffy's forearm and laid the other hand on Willow's forehead as if she were checking for fever. Her eyes closed and she blanched and stood up suddenly.

"What?" Buffy asked.

Tara had seen the sudden motion, too, and came to Aislin's side. "What?" she echoed.

Aislin ignored them and walked to the corner where Xander and Giles were talking and trying to stay out of the way. "We need to leave here," she told Giles. "When Anya returns with what I need, I'll do what I can to stabilize her. She needs a hospital, Rupert. Get an ambulance here. The others need to get their things. We won't be coming back here."

"What did he do?"

"I don't know exactly, but it's bad, and it's still here. It's close to her, and it wants her, and we need to go."

Giles turned to Xander. "You heard her. Go pack what you can find. Leave the rest." He reached behind and under his coat and handed Xander a pistol. "Take Dawn."

"No," Aislin said. "I need her here."

Xander waited for Giles to agree. Giles nodded at him, and Xander left.

He met Anya in the hall. She saw the grim expression on his face. "What's going on?"

"Giles' friend said we have to leave as soon as you finish whatever you're going to do to Will." He leaned down and kissed her. "I'll be back," he told her, and continued in the direction she had just come from.

"Crap," Anya said. "If she's running scared, we are so screwed." She hurried toward the room.

It looked no different than it had when she left. Buffy sat at Willow's side, holding her hand. Tara and Aislin were talking quietly at the other side of the bed. Giles was on the phone. Dawn was sitting near the table, picking at her cast.

Anya thrust a paper bag at Aislin. "It's not fresh, but it's the best I could do."

"Thank you." Aislin opened the bag and peered in. She looked back at Anya. "It's perfect." Then she looked at Tara. "We need the little one, too."

Tara smiled for the first time in days. "Don't let her hear you call her that," she told Aislin before going to sit beside Dawn for a moment. "We're going to do a ritual for Willow," she told her. "We need you to help."

"Me?" Dawn squeaked.

Tara nodded. "You're as close to W-willow as any of us."

Dawn nodded and stood when Tara did. They went back to the bed. Aislin and Anya were spreading herbs around Willow. Aislin looked up at Dawn when she approached. "Stand next to your sister, by the head of the bed," she instructed. "Put your hand on her shoulder."

Tara stood at Buffy's other side. Anya stood at the foot of the bed and Aislin stood opposite Buffy. Tara placed her hand on Buffy's other shoulder, and stretched to reach Anya. Anya took her hand and reached for Aislin. They joined hands, and Aislin reached across the bed to Dawn. Their fingers laced, and Dawn drew in a breath at the surge of power that passed through her.

The others let Aislin lead. She called, and they answered, continuing as the herbs turned to smoke around Willow and her body arced and she screamed. Tara didn't realize she was crying again until they were finished. She looked at Buffy and saw a small trickle of blood from the corner of her mouth and realized that Buffy must have bitten through her lip to keep herself from stopping them.

Dawn's eyes were wide as she looked from one of them to the other, and finally at Willow. A small "oh" came from her mouth and she went behind Buffy to Tara. She buried her face in Tara's sleeve and threw her arms around her. Tara kissed the top of her head, but didn't move. She didn't want to take from Buffy the small comfort of her hand on the Slayer's shoulder.

Anya turned to Aislin. "Do you still need me here?"

"No."

"Good." She spun toward Giles. "I'm going to help Xander," she told him, moving toward the door before she finished the sentence.

"Buffy, does she feel any different?" Aislin asked.

Buffy shook her head. She was afraid of what would come out if she opened her mouth.

Aislin leaned over, and as she had done before, put one hand on Buffy's forearm and the other on Willow's forehead. After two or three seconds, she pulled away. Buffy watched and hoped her reaction would be different this time. Aislin straightened up, closed her eyes, and drew a deep breath. She exhaled, opened her eyes, and met Buffy's. "It's a little better," she told her, and went to Giles. They talked too quietly for the others to hear, even if they were paying attention.

It was a few more long minutes before Anya returned with an ambulance crew in her wake. They let Buffy move Willow onto the gurney, and didn't argue as Buffy trotted beside them, holding Willow's hand.

The rest of them followed. When they reached the entrance, Buffy got into the ambulance with Willow. Xander had one of the Council's Land Rovers waiting. Their luggage was stacked neatly in the back. Giles took the wheel. Xander and Anya slid into the back seat. Tara and Dawn went with Aislin. Dawn kept in physical contact with Tara the entire time. All that had happened in the past hour had shaken her, and she wanted someone to tell her that everything would be fine. Buffy wouldn't, and Willow couldn't, and that left Tara, who was the closest thing to a mother she had since her own had died.

No one in either vehicle talked as they followed the ambulance. No matter how many times it happened, they never got used to one of them being hurt. Hospitals were for bad news: der Kinderstad, Faith's coma, Joyce's death.

They took over the waiting room. Buffy refused to let Willow out of her sight when the doctors needed to do anything that required her to let go of the redhead's hand. The hospital was used to strange injuries coming from the Watcher's Council manor house, but they had never seen anyone in the condition Willow was in. Doctors were unable to check her pupils because her eyes were black. If Buffy wasn't touching her, and if they didn't say what they were doing, they'd find themselves pushed forcefully away by something they couldn't see. They scratched their heads and did what they could. X-rays were taken, IV lines put in, bags of antibiotics hung with the bigger bags on the poles. Finally, they let the rest of her family enter the room in pairs. Buffy sat at Willow's bedside. She remained focused on Willow except for a few moments with each of them.

Giles was the last to enter. He stood at the foot of Willow's bed, using what magickal skill he had to look at her. He shook his head slowly and went to Buffy's side. Giles knelt beside her chair. "The Council is meeting today. Is there anything you want to tell them?"

"Tell them," Buffy said in a cold voice, "that their Slayer is in prison in California. Tell them that I will chase down every lying rat who did this to my Willow. Tell them that whenever I see a member of the Council, their lives are forfeit. Tell them," she continued, moving her gaze from Willow to Giles, "that we are finished with them."

Giles nodded. "I will. Is it all right if I take the others with me to the meeting?"

"If they want to go." Buffy turned again to Willow.

"I'll be back as soon as I can."

Buffy nodded her acknowledgement. Giles stood. He leaned over and kissed the top of Buffy's head. "I'll make arrangements for us to return to Sunnydale as soon as possible," he told her before leaving.


	16. Chapter 16

Buffy watched Willow. Each time the redhead moved or made a sound, Buffy stroked her hair and told her she was safe. Doctors and nurses came and went, but Buffy didn't move. She watched Willow and poured all of her love into the connection between them, her palm against the redhead's. She tried not to think about everything that could still go wrong, and instead focused on the feeling of Willow's hand against hers.

It was nearly dark before her family returned. They crowded into the room. Dawn stood behind Buffy, resting her hands on Buffy's shoulders. Xander stood opposite Buffy, his fingers lying against Willow's cheek. Anya stood next to him. Giles stayed at the foot of the bed. Tara and Aislin completed the ring, Aislin near Giles, Tara between she and Dawn. They were subdued as Giles relayed to Buffy what had happened at the meeting. The Watcher's Council, he reported, was in chaos. Some had been smug in the face of the Scoobies' outrage. That lasted until Giles recited the Slayer's message to them. Then the shouting began. "They were still arguing when we left," Giles told her.

Buffy shrugged. "When are we leaving?"

"Whenever you're ready."

"I'm ready now."

Giles nodded. He turned to leave, and nearly ran down one of the doctors. He pushed the man into the hall.

The gang heard a little of their discussion, mostly "you can'ts" from the doctor. They stood silently around the room, watching each shallow breath Willow took. Buffy looked toward the door every few seconds, and then something dawned on her. She looked at Aislin and asked, "Are you coming with us?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Yes."

"I am."

Tara's heart lightened a little at Aislin's answer. Amidst the bedlam of the past few days, she had found comfort in the feeling she had when the raven-haired witch was near.

"I'll need to get some things," she said.

"Let's see what Giles says first." Buffy turned her attention back to Willow. All she wanted, all she had wanted since this awful mess had begun, was for Willow to be well. Bringing her so far from their home had only made things worse. Willow was worse, and they were, she was certain, in danger from the Council, or would be, once they got their act together. She had thrown everyone's lives into turmoil for nothing. The only good things to come of it were that Spike and Travers would bother them no more.

The next time Buffy looked up, only her sister and the witches were in the room.

"You have to stop blaming yourself," Aislin told her. "What's done is done. Look forward."

Buffy didn't answer.

"Rupert will be back soon so we can leave. We thought we should do the ritual again while we have an opportunity."

Buffy nodded.

Tara and Aislin ringed Willow with herbs again, and again, they joined hands around her. Tara and Aislin spoke both parts this time. Buffy and Dawn repeated the calls back to them. Again, Willow's body went rigid and she screamed as the smoke surrounded her, but afterwards, she was still.

They left Buffy alone with Willow after that.

Tara went with Aislin to pack her things. She wandered around Aislin's house while Aislin rolled and folded clothes and placed them into a bag. The second bag Aislin packed with books and herbs and oils. Then she sat on the couch and looked around.

Tara joined her. "I love your home."

"Thank you. I'll miss it."

"I'm glad you're coming with us."

"The Slayer asked. She doesn't do that often."

"That's the first time I remember her asking for anything except to watch Dawn."

Aislin nodded. "You don't ask for much, either."

Tara looked at Aislin for a moment, then at her lap, but didn't answer the statement.

"Are you afraid I'll say no?" Aislin asked quietly.

"I don't know."

"She was careless with your heart, but she loves you still."

Tara's head jerked up and she met Aislin's gaze. "For all that, she was never mine."

"No. And as much as you wanted to be, you weren't hers. You're waiting for someone."

"You?" Tara asked

Aislin smiled. "If I'm fortunate." She reached to cover the hand resting on Tara's nearest thigh. "I wish we could continue this now, but we've got to meet the others." She stood, bringing Tara with her, and pulled Tara's hand to her lips. She kissed Tara's knuckles gently before releasing her hand. Tara answered with her half smile.

Again, they followed the ambulance through unfamiliar streets. There was another chartered plane waiting at the end of their ride. Only Giles knew how many favors he had called in to make everything happen so quickly. Buffy was too tired and worried to do anything except hold fast to Willow's hand. She was aware that she had abandoned Dawn to the care of the other members of her family, but believed her sister understood why, especially after being involved with the rituals to do whatever it was that Aislin caused to happen.

Airborne, Buffy felt a little better. She stayed beside Willow and dozed occasionally. She remembered the flight over, kisses and giggles and promises of a future she now wasn't sure they would have. She slept lightly and jerked awake at each small noise Willow made. She heard her name once, and leaned over Willow.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I tried, Buffy," Willow rasped.

"No, you did good, Will." Buffy stroked her cheek. "No sorries. You were magnificent."

Willow's eyes opened and she asked, "Buffy?"

"Right here."

"You came."

"I'm sorry it took so long."

"Where are we?"

"On our way home." Buffy's fingers continued to brush Willow's face.

"What happened?"

"We'll talk about it later. Rest." She leaned down and kissed Willow chastely.

"Love you."

"I love you, too." Buffy watched Willow's eyes close. It took her a moment to realize that they were their normal lovely green. She leaned back into her seat and smiled.

Aislin sat beside her. "How is she?"

"Green eyed," Buffy grinned.

"Good."

"Yeah," Buffy agreed.

"Can I get you some tea?"

"No," Buffy said slowly. "I'm still getting over the last cup you got me."

"Fair enough. How about something else?"

"I'm good, thanks."

"All right, then." Aislin got up and moved toward the rest of the group.

The doctor Giles had brought along – an old friend, he said – checked Willow regularly without disturbing either she or the Slayer. Their family was another matter. They came in turns to sit beside Buffy. They didn't talk unless Buffy was awake, but one of them was almost always next to her.

The flight was uneventful. They arrived in Sunnydale in mid-afternoon, long enough before sunset for everyone to be safely ensconced at the Summers house before dark. Xander and Anya didn't go directly to the house. They stopped for groceries and videos and for several kinds of takeout, and laid a spread on the kitchen table when they arrived.

Willow and Buffy were nowhere in sight, but everyone else was in the living room. Tara was sandwiched between Aislin and Dawn on the couch. Giles was on the phone again.

"They're upstairs," Tara told Xander before he could ask.

Dawn jumped up. "I'll tell her food's here."

She returned minutes later, grinning ear to ear. "Willow's awake," she announced and scurried into the kitchen to fix a plate to take to her sister. Xander tore up the stairs. He hadn't spoken with Willow in weeks, something that had never happened in their long friendship. He hesitated for a moment in the door to watch Buffy and Willow together. He didn't have to force the smile that accompanied his greeting.

Willow smiled back at him, and Buffy stepped aside to let Xander sit on the bed. She trusted Xander with Willow, and left the room so they could talk.

They didn't talk. He was relieved that she looked a little better, but she was exhausted and still scrambled from the sedatives used to keep her quiet during the flight. He held her hand and let her slide back into sleep, then stayed until Buffy returned.

Buffy ate half a pepperoni pizza and two plates of broccoli and beef. Dawn flitted around her, bringing napkins and refilling her drink until Buffy made her sit and eat. Dawn didn't need much encouragement. She sat beside Buffy and ate nearly as much as her sister. She stayed seated while Buffy rummaged through the cabinets until she found a can of chicken noodle soup. Buffy microwaved the soup, and filled a mug. The rest she left in the bowl and put in the refrigerator. She started to leave, and was stopped by Dawn's quiet, "Can I come?"

That question made her realize just how long it had been since she had seen her sister for more than a few minutes, and reminded her that no matter how grown up she tried to be, she wasn't quite there. "Sure. Hey, get the crackers, ok?"

Xander was where he was when Buffy left, sitting at Willow's side, holding her small hand in his much larger one. He kissed Willow's forehead before surrendering his place to Buffy.

Buffy touched Willow's cheek gently, and let her fingers drift to, then across, Willow's lips. She leaned close and spoke quietly to wake her. Buffy helped her sit up, then moved behind her. Willow rested against her and let Buffy feed her the soup. Dawn sat at the foot of the bed and occasionally passed a cracker to Willow. None of them talked. When Willow finished the soup, Dawn got off the bed. She took the mug from Buffy, and leaned over to kiss them both on the cheek before leaving.

Buffy lay back against the headboard. Willow lay against her. Buffy was careful not to touch her arms or disturb the IV lines. "I'm glad to be home."

"Mmm hmm."

"I was so scared, Willow."

"I knew you were coming." Willow yawned.

"Sleep. I'll be right here."


	17. Chapter 17

Buffy held Willow against her and closed her eyes. They were home, but there were still so many things that could go wrong. As Willow whimpered in her sleep, Buffy wanted to cry. Willow was still sick, and much weaker, and their mad rush to England had only made things worse. She looked out the window and watched the light change. As the darkness increased, she wanted to prepare for the hunt. She wanted more for Willow to be able to go with her. She missed their long evenings together moving from cemetery to cemetery, talking or not as the mood struck. Long silences between them were a recent thing.

She carefully kissed Willow's temple, and Willow immediately stilled. It amazed Buffy that her presence was enough to calm Willow. For so long it had been the other way. Buffy would stress, and Willow would say the only thing that could relieve her worry.

Buffy opened her eyes at the raps on the door. Tara and Aislin and Dawn were there. Buffy smiled and waved them in.

"How is she?" Tara asked.

"Okay, I guess. She ate some soup and went back to sleep." Buffy glanced up at the bags on the IV pole. "We'll have to change them soon."

"How are you?"

"I'm good," Buffy answered.

"We need to talk, but first we need to do the ritual again," Tara said.

Buffy closed her eyes and grimaced. "Do we have to?"

"We do," Aislin answered. "It's helping," she added in a softer tone. "I know it hurts her for a few seconds, but that's because it's undoing the harm the others did."

Buffy was as close to tears as any of them had ever seen her. Aislin walked to the bed and laid one hand on Buffy's shoulder. The other went across Willow's forehead. "It's helping," she repeated after a few seconds, and let go of both of them.

"All right," Buffy finally acquiesced.

Like they had done at the hospital, Aislin and Tara placed herbs around the mattress. Dawn moved to stand at the head of the bed, her hand on Buffy's shoulder. Buffy leaned to rest her cheek on her sister's hand. Tara took Dawn's free hand, and reached across the bed to Aislin. Aislin gripped Tara's hand and pressed her other hand against the back of Buffy's neck. "Buffy, slide your hands under Willow's top."

Buffy maneuvered her hands carefully to reach skin without disturbing Willow. When she was still again, Aislin nodded to Tara. They began the chant. As before, Buffy and Dawn answered. Again, as the herbs turned to smoke, Willow screamed and her body became rigid. And again, it took all of Buffy's willpower not to stop them. She didn't notice that the other women left the room at the ritual's conclusion.

She opened her eyes because Willow said her name. "I'm here, Willow," she answered.

"Am I dreaming?"

"No, Will. We're home and I've got you."

"I don't feel so good."

"I know."

"Don't leave."

"Not a chance. I'm staying right here as your personal pillow."

Willow didn't say anything for several minutes, and Buffy thought she had fallen asleep again. "I'm sorry, Buffy."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for, Will."

"I can't stop it."

"Willow?"

"Slayer," was the reply. In a voice completely unlike Willow's.

"Tara!" Buffy yelled. "Giles!" She tightened her grip on Willow.

"Weakling," the voice taunted.

Tara came through the door first, followed by everyone else in the house.

"Anyanka, you ally yourself with these," it paused for a moment and then spat contemptuously, "mortals?"

Tara and Aislin joined hands. Their magicks worked together in a way far different than hers and Willow's had. Their magicks had been like a chemical reaction, burning quickly and furiously, with Willow as the fuel and Tara as the spark. With Aislin, magick felt like macramé in two colors, complementary and equal, making something stronger than either of them alone could.

The witches recited a binding spell. When they finished, whatever was holding Willow's body hostage could do them no harm. It was infuriated, though, and howled its rage as threats of slow dismemberment.

Buffy slowly disengaged herself from Willow's body and climbed off the bed. She stood, looking down. The others saw her lips move, but no one could hear what she said. When she turned to them, Buffy looked fierce and determined. "I don't know what it is or where it came from, but we're getting rid of it."

"It's Gienah," Anya said.

Tara and Aislin whipped around to face Anya.

"He threw the best parties," Anya recalled wistfully. "Destroyed whole cities. People, animals, buildings, there'd be nothing left but rubble."

"Tell him to leave," Buffy demanded.

"Oh, sure. And after that, I'll command the sun to rise."

Buffy advanced toward Anya. Xander stepped between them. Buffy glared up at him.

"Anya, apologize to the nice Slayer."

"What for?"

"Just do it."

"Sorry, Buffy." She peeked around Xander.

"Start talking," Buffy ordered.

"Gienah," Giles recited. "One of a quartet of trickster demons. Also known as the right wing of the raven."

"Giles." Buffy turned to him, Anya forgotten. "Skip to the part where we kill it."

"The host must die."

"Try again."

Giles didn't answer immediately. Finally, he said, "Research."

Anya and Xander stayed upstairs with Willow. The rest of them returned downstairs. Dawn stayed at Buffy's side, holding her sister's hand tightly. Giles, Aislin and Tara talked about the demon resident in Willow's body. Buffy tried to follow them. She didn't like how their conversations kept returning to the phrase "death of the host."

"It's not a host," she said finally. "It's Willow. We have to find another way."

Buffy laid the book aside in disgust. 'Will could find this stuff in a heartbeat,' she thought. She pushed that thought away and stood. She stretched. The dark called to her. Instead of going out, she went upstairs.

Anya and Xander sat side by side four feet from the bed.

"I'll take over now, guys."

"Thanks." Xander stood and stretched. He shook Anya gently.

"I'm awake," she said crossly.

"Will's room is empty. You guys can bunk there," Buffy offered.

"Think we'll help with the research." Xander looked like he wanted to say more.

"Thanks." Buffy moved toward the bed. She looked at Willow. It was her body, at least. She knelt beside the bed and began to talk softly. "I know you're in there somewhere, Will. I'm so sorry about all this. We'll find a way to fix it."

"We'll find a way to fix it," the demon mocked. "You know how to fix it, Slayer. The Watcher told you. Kill the witch."

"If you're so eager to die, why don't you just leave?"

"I'm not going to die."

"What do you want?"

"What are you offering?"

"Your life for hers. You leave, I won't kill you. She stays. Unharmed."

The demon laughed. "You'll have to do better than that."

Buffy shrugged. "Your choice." She stood, went to the chairs, sat in one. "I'm not going anywhere."

Downstairs, the research continued. Tara and Aislin sat on one side of the table, half a dozen books between them. Dawn had set Willow's laptop up and was searching on the Internet. Giles was picking Anya's brain about the demon. She couldn't tell him much, except that they should be extremely cautious in bargaining with it. Xander brought another pot of coffee out.

Tara pulled a copy of prophecy to the top of the pile of papers in front of her. If it was applicable now, they had completed half of its requirements. Willow had been kidnapped and rescued. The Council was fragmented. From what she'd seen at the meeting, it would be a long time before any cohesion would be achieved. Chaos was running rampant through their lives, and probably through Sunnydale, too, since Buffy had been gone. 'The Slayer will bleed,' she mused. Metaphorically, she supposed, it was happening. 'What door?' Tara wondered, 'and between what or who? And where does Dawn fit in?'

Aislin glanced over at Tara. The copy of the prophecy caught her eye. She reached over and asked, "May I?"

Tara nodded, and Aislin slid the paper between them. They studied it together. Something about it troubled both of them. "Where's the original?" Aislin asked.

"I don't know. Giles probably does."

"Rupert," Aislin called.

He turned. "Yes."

"Where's the original prophecy?"

"In the Slayer Codex."

"Where is that?"

"At my apartment."

"Can we get it?"

"I'll go," Anya volunteered.

Giles sighed. "Fine." He described the book to Anya.

Xander and Anya left to retrieve it. The rest of them kept reading.

They returned quicker than Giles thought possible. He opened the text to the proper page and handed it to Aislin.

She read it slowly, silently reciting the Latin. Like all language, it was malleable. She began playing with the intonation, varying the stressed words and syllables. She read the prophecies above and below it, as well. She set the text aside and turned to Tara. "Tell me about Willow."

Tara looked at her, puzzled. "What do you want to know?"

"About her magick."

"We wrote it down." Tara looked across the table to Giles. He was all ready going through the random pages. He found the one in question and handed it across the table.

Aislin scanned it, then looked at Giles. "You let her do this?"

"She didn't ask permission," he said defensively.

She turned to Tara. Before Aislin could ask, Tara told her, "She did what was necessary at the time."

"Is this all she's done?"

"It's all I know about," Tara answered.

"She's so strong," Aislin marveled aloud. "This has been with her since the beginning."

"What do you mean?"

"What sort of Watcher are you, Rupert? Gienah was tied to Acathla, and was freed with Acathla. It's been in hiding in Willow until it gathered enough power to show itself and she was weak enough that it could. It doesn't need her any longer. It's toying with us, with her."


	18. Chapter 18

Buffy sat silently and watched Willow's body. The demon would stare at her without blinking for minutes at a time. Its reptilian black eyes were unnerving but at the same time comforting. 'Will's eyes are green,' she told herself.

Dawn came in and sat in the other chair. "They want you downstairs," she told Buffy.

"Don't talk to it. Don't listen if it talks."

"'Kay."

Buffy got up and reluctantly left the room. She went down the stairs and through the living room. She stood at the head of the table and waited for someone, anyone, to speak.

Giles cleared his throat. "The demon possessing Willow has been with her longer than any of us knew."

"Get to the point, Giles."

"Everything says that she must die to force the demon to leave."

"Not gonna happen."

"What does it want, Buffy?" Aislin asked quietly.

"What does any monster want?" Buffy answered. "Since we're on the Hellmouth, I imagine it wants to end the world."

"Has it said that?"

"No. It hasn't said much of anything. When I asked what it wants, it asked what we're offering. I told it I'd let it live if it left without hurting Willow."

"That wasn't acceptable?"

"No."

"We seem to be at a stalemate," Giles said.

"There has to be a way," Buffy insisted.

"We've brought you back twice," Xander said. "Why can't we do the same for Will?"

"Are you willing to kill her?" Buffy asked him.

Xander put his hands up in front of him. "Not me. I'm resusc-a-guy."

Buffy looked around the table. No one would meet her eyes.

Wearily, Giles said, "We'll keep looking."

Buffy left. She climbed the stairs slowly, but sped up when she heard voices in her room.

Dawn was still in the chair, but she was talking quietly. Willow, Buffy saw from the doorway, was answering. Buffy was at her bedside in a flash. "Will?"

"Yeah," she answered hoarsely.

"You have a little case of possession." Buffy forgot that anyone else was in the room.

"Figures."

"We're working on it."

"'Kay," Willow nodded.

"Do you want anything?"

"You." Willow answered without stopping to think.

Buffy leaned over and kissed her cheek, then turned her face enough that they were cheek to cheek. She fumbled one hand between them until she grasped Willow's, then sat up.

"It wants," Willow squeaked out, and clenched her jaw.

"It can't have you," Buffy said defiantly.

Willow's breathing became erratic and she closed her eyes. Buffy braced herself for the demon's return, but it was Willow's green eyes that opened wide.

"Hurts."

"Dawn, get them up here now," Buffy said sharply without looking at her sister. "Hang on, Will." She held Willow's face with her free hand.

"Love you," Willow gasped.

"Don't you dare give up," Buffy ordered. Her tone softened. "Stay with me, Will. Please."

Tara, Aislin and Giles came through the door behind Dawn as Willow's body went rigid. Buffy leaned down close to Willow's face. "I've got you, Willow. You're safe. I love you. Just hang on." She repeated that mantra in a voice too low for the others to hear.

"How sweet," Gienah answered mockingly.

Buffy sat up. "I'm really sick of you."

"I like it here. You should get used to me." It looked over Buffy's shoulder at the assembly. "Mmm, yummy witches. The Watcher's kind of stringy. And you," it looked at Dawn. "Oh, we're going to have such fun together."

"You're not having any fun," Buffy said harshly.

"What do you want?" Giles asked.

"Hmm, what do I want? What do I want? I like it here. Think I'll stay." It sat up, despite the binding Aislin and Tara had put on it earlier. Before anyone could stop it, the demon rolled off the bed and dove out the window. The IV lines tore away from Willow's arm. Buffy followed it through the shattered remains of the window within seconds. The rest of them headed downstairs as quickly as they could. By the time they reached the front yard, neither Buffy nor Willow were anywhere to be seen.

Buffy returned hours later. She was filthy. Her pants were ripped and her shirt was nearly gone. She was bleeding freely from several small cuts on her arms and one large one across her left cheek. She didn't greet or even look at anyone. The Slayer trudged upstairs slowly. A few minutes later, they heard the shower start.

They expected Buffy to come downstairs after her shower, but she didn't. After half an hour, Dawn went to check on her sister. Buffy was sitting cross-legged on the floor in old pants and a Sunnydale High t-shirt. Her eyes were closed, and blood continued to drip from her cheek. She didn't acknowledge Dawn, even after her sister shook her gently. Dawn backed away slowly and went downstairs. Her eyes were wide with fright as she relayed to Giles what she had seen.

While the others debated what to do, Tara went to Buffy's room. She sat across from her on the floor and rested her palms on Buffy's knees. It wasn't long before Buffy put her hands over Tara's. A few moments later, she opened her eyes. "I failed her again."

"No."

"It's my fault, Tara. All of it. She tried to save Angel for me."

"No," Tara repeated.

"Everything I did's made it worse." Tears started to slide down her cheeks. She didn't flinch when they flowed over the gash on her cheek. "I looked everywhere. Everywhere."

"We'll find her." Tara moved her hands to Buffy's face. She thumbed away her tears. "Let's get your face fixed."

"I tried."

Tara frowned. "How'd it happen?"

"I dunno," Buffy shrugged. "Maybe when I went out the window."

"Okay." Tara stood and held out a hand to Buffy. Buffy took it and got to her feet.

They went into the bathroom. Tara sat Buffy on the edge of the tub. She got the first aid kit from under the sink, then closed the toilet lid and sat. She opened the first aid kit and sat it beside Buffy.

She cleaned the cut with hydrogen peroxide soaked gauze. It continued to bleed freely as she put butterfly bandages along its length. She covered the whole thing with gauze and taped it to Buffy's face. Then she inspected Buffy's arms and repeated the process on a few small wounds on her forearms.

Buffy didn't move or speak while Tara worked. Tara finished and closed the first aid kit. She replaced it under the sink and sat on the closed toilet again. "You need to talk with Dawn."

"What am I supposed to tell her? I let some demon take Will but I'm sure you're safe," Buffy said sarcastically.

"You need to tell her you're okay. I know you aren't," Tara added in a rush, "but she's scared. She relies on you, Buffy. When you're all right, everything is fine in her world. The whole time you were g-gone, nothing any of us did was enough for to believe things would ever be okay again."

"But," Buffy started.

Tara talked over her. "You have to believe that we're going to beat this. Even if you don't believe it for yourself right now, you have to act like you do so Dawn can."

"How can I do that, Tara?" Tears welled up in Buffy's eyes again.

"Can you still feel her?"

"No," Buffy sobbed. She threw herself onto Tara like she had a few weeks before. Tara folded herself over the Slayer.

"I can." Tara said. "She's strong. She's fighting. She trusts you to come and get her again." She sat up and stroked Buffy's hair with one hand. "You can be worried. You can be scared. But when you talk to Dawn, you need to be the Slayer."


	19. Chapter 19

Willow felt disjointed. Her mind worked, but her body refused to answer her commands. She could feel the demon but it ignored her and directed her body to move faster than she thought possible. 'At least it doesn't hurt,' she thought.

The demon stopped in the depths of a cave and stayed perfectly still for an extended period. Willow alternated between amazement at what her body had done and trying to figure out how to regain control over it. She had listened to Buffy's conversations with Gienah and knew that it didn't want her dead.

'Think, Rosenberg, think. It's a demon, it wants something. It got here somehow, so there must be a way to make it leave. A way that doesn't end with me dying, no, that's bad. It didn't go to the Hellmouth, so it must want something else. Yeah, like to raise an army of other demons before it goes to open the Hellmouth. C'mon,' she urged herself, but got nowhere fast. Her thoughts ran in a pattern that reminded her of Amy on her wheel, and she mentally stamped her foot. 'I want my body back. I want my life back. And I want you gone,' she screamed.

Willow suddenly came back into her body. It ached in places she had never noticed before. She forced herself to her feet and stumbled toward the cave entrance. It took her a while to orient herself once she got outside. Once she recognized the direction she had to go, Willow forced herself to move. Every step was an agony. To add to her pain were the conflicting urges to use magick and to surrender to the demon's command.

She concentrated on moving and staying the present. Willow stumbled like a drunk. She had no grasp of the passage of time, except that it was still daylight. When she reached a road, she fell to her knees. Several cars went by before one stopped. It was a police cruiser. The officer took one look at her and called for an ambulance.

Giles answered the phone. "Summers residence."

"I'm calling from Sunnydale Memorial Hospital," a woman said in a bored voice. "Is Joyce Summers available?"

"I'm sorry, she isn't. Is there something I can help you with?" Giles was cautious.

"Ms. Summers is listed as the emergency contact for Willow Rosenberg. Ms. Rosenberg has been admitted to the hospital. Will you please leave a message for Ms. Summers?"

"Certainly. Thank you for calling," he said, and hung up without waiting for a reply. He walked slowly toward the stairs. Xander and Anya had gone home to rest not long ago. Tara had convinced Buffy to lay down, and then she and Aislin had gone to Willow's room to sleep. Dawn, too, was in her room, and Giles had napped briefly on the sofa. He stopped at the top of the stairs and drew a deep breath before rapping on Buffy's open door.

She sat up immediately. Giles noticed that the gauze that Tara had applied earlier was dark with blood. "What is it?" Buffy asked.

"The hospital called. Willow is there."

Buffy swung her legs to the floor and got to her feet. She walked to her closet and pulled out a pair of jeans. She pushed her shorts off and jammed her legs into the jeans and closed them. Without looking, she pulled a shirt from the closet and put it on. She saw Giles when she opened a drawer to get a pair of socks. "Tell the others," she ordered.

"Of course," he answered, and went to do as she asked.

Buffy put her shoes and socks on and grabbed her wallet from the dresser. She jammed it into a pocket on her way out of the bedroom. She heard Giles talking, and sleepy voices answering as she bounded down the stairs. They would take too long to prepare to leave the house. She pulled the front door shut and took off running toward the hospital. 'She's alive, she's alive,' her mind repeated as she ran.

Buffy controlled herself in the hospital, although all she wanted to do was race through the halls. She stopped at the information desk and got Willow's room number and went there as quickly as she could.

The room was dim, and there was no one there except Willow. She was hooked up to several machines, and IV lines had been put into her other arm. The one that the lines had been torn from was bandaged. Willow as nearly as white as the sheets, and Buffy clearly saw each freckle on her skin. She stood at the bedside and held Willow's hand and waited for the others to arrive.

She wasn't there long before a nurse came in to check Willow's machinery. Before she left, she told Buffy, "I'll let the doctor know you're here."

Buffy recognized the doctor who came in. He was one they saw regularly when the Scoobies came to the emergency room to get patched up. He explained that he had put Willow into a drug-induced coma to give her body a chance to heal itself. He didn't ask what had happened to her. He had learned that living in Sunnydale, it was better not to know, especially when any of the group around the blonde was involved.

Dawn was the first to enter the room. She stood beside her sister and put one arm around her waist. "Hey," she said softly.

"Hey," Buffy answered. She laid her head on her sister's shoulder for a moment.

The rest of the group surrounded Willow's bed as they had a few days earlier. Xander kissed Willow's forehead, then stood with the backs of his fingers resting on Willow's cheek.

Buffy relayed to them what the doctor had said. They stood silently, staring at Willow.

"The demon's still there," Aislin said softly.

"I never thought I'd say this," Xander said. "Let's hit the books."

"Buffy, will you be all right by yourself?" Giles asked.

Buffy nodded. Giles moved toward the door. On the way, he stopped and patted Buffy's shoulder. "We'll be back as soon as we know something."

"Okay," she answered.

Except for Aislin, the others, even Anya, hugged Buffy. Dawn stayed at her sister's side. "You should go with them," Buffy told her.

"No, I think I need to be here."

Buffy looked at her sister quizzically.

Dawn shrugged. "It feels like the right thing to do."

"Okay," Buffy agreed. She was glad that someone was staying with her. It was too easy to be frightened by the machinery and Willow's absolute stillness. That was more unnatural than any of the other circumstances. Willow always, Buffy learned at their first sleepover, talked and twitched and gestured in her sleep. Now, her chest rose and fell in a regular rhythm, but nothing else moved.

Buffy stood for hours and held Willow's hand. Dawn sat in the chair in the corner. She was so quiet that her sister forgot she was still there until she looked around the room and saw her.

The table at the Magic Box was piled with books. Some were open. Everyone except Aislin and Giles were reading. Aislin was meditating and Giles was again on the phone. Tara was studying the prophecy. _The heart of the Slayer shall be taken, and the Council will fall. The Slayer and her Sorceress will search the realms for their heart. Chaos will reign and the Slayer will bleed until the Sorceress opens the door between them. The Key then will be transformed and their heart restored._

There remained only one item to complete the prophecy, but Tara didn't know what she was supposed to do to fulfill it. When she looked up, Xander was looking at her. "I know this sounds nuts, and you probably don't remember, because, you know, the whole Glory thing." He sounded a little embarrassed.

Tara nodded to encourage him to continue.

"Buffy went all non-responsive and Willow locked them up in her room for a few hours, and when they came out, Buffy was back. I dunno what Will did, some Vulcan mind meld thingy or something. Will's in a coma now, and maybe you guys can do something like that..." His voice fell.

Tara thought about what Xander said. It made as much sense as anything else they had tried. Willow hadn't told her much about what transpired while she was out of her mind. She had adamantly refused to talk with Tara about anything concerning Buffy. "All we can do is try, Xander," she answered him. Giles hung up the phone, and Tara waved him over. "Tell him what you just told me," she asked Xander.

"Remember when Glory took Dawn?" Xander asked.

Giles nodded.

"And Buffy shut down and Will did that thing," Xander continued. "I was wondering if we could do something like that for Will."

Giles, too, took a moment to consider Xander's suggestion. "It can't hurt," he said finally.

Aislin finished her meditation in time to hear Xander talk with Giles. "What thing?" she asked, and Xander went through it again. "That's a good idea, Xander," she told him. "Who's going to do it?"

"Buffy," Tara answered softly.

"Why not you?" Aislin asked.

"That's not my place any more," Tara said in an odd tone. She wasn't sure whether she was relieved or sad. Some of each, she decided. "We don't really need anything except them."


	20. Chapter 20

They piled into Xander's car and headed to the hospital. It was late afternoon. The sun was still above the tree line, but not for much longer. They trooped into Willow's room. It was still quiet and dim. Buffy was exactly where they had left her. Dawn had folded herself into the chair and was quietly watching her sister.

Since it was Xander's idea, he presented it to Buffy. Before he could finish all of his suggestion, Buffy said, "Let's do it."

After a few moments, they decided that Aislin would anchor Tara and Dawn would anchor Buffy. Xander and Giles moved the chairs to either side of the bed. Buffy climbed in beside Willow and carefully slid one arm under her neck and around her shoulders and put the other across her. She kissed the redhead's temple. Dawn laid her hand on her sister's ankle, and Tara slid her hand under Willow's. Aislin sat cross-legged on the floor at Tara's feet and pulled them into her lap. Anya, Giles and Xander stood at the door.

It was easy for Buffy to slide into that gray area. Tara appeared beside her, and Dawn appeared at her other side. Tara frowned, remembering the prophecy. Willow's mind looked to them like a circular room ringed with identical doors.

"What now?" Buffy asked.

"It's your call. I'll wait here for you."

Buffy nodded slowly. Her eyes scanned the doors again as she turned in a slow circle. "Which one, which one?" she asked herself quietly.

Dawn pointed. "That one."

"You sure?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah," Dawn answered.

They moved to the door. Buffy opened the door and went through first. Dawn followed. The door closed behind them. They found a corridor lined with doors, all but one neatly labeled in Willow's writing in different colors. The sisters saw it at the same time. "That's the one, isn't it?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah."

"Wish I brought a sword."

"You did," Dawn told her.

Buffy felt the weight of the sword in a scabbard on her back. "Cool." She drew the sword and immediately recognized it. It was the one she had used to kill Angel. The sword was as bright and sharp as when it had first left the smith. "Stay behind me," she instructed Dawn.

The room the door opened into was a mess. It was dark and dank and smelled of something that had been moldering in the dark for a long time. "Figures," Buffy muttered as the door shut behind them.

"So nice of you to come, Slayer," the demon hissed. "And you brought that sweet, young thing."

"She's not here for you. This," Buffy said, brandishing the sword, "is for you."

"You want to play before I kill you? Fine with me." Gienah leaped toward Buffy.

She held her ground until the last second, then stepped into its attack. It was comically easy. She impaled the demon on the sword, pushing until the guard prevented it from going further, then twisted the sword as she withdrew it. The demon fell to the ground, and Buffy beheaded it. She kicked the head away from the body.

Dawn came to her side and kneeled. She touched the demon's corpse and it incinerated in a flash that left the room clean and empty and bright. When Dawn stood, her sister was staring at her. Dawn prodded her. "We need to find Willow."

Buffy nodded. She put the sword, again bright and unsoiled, into the scabbard. They left the room and went back into the corridor. The walk seemed endless. The last door in the corridor was also unlabelled. Dawn opened it slowly, and Buffy entered first.

It looked to Buffy exactly like the room in the Council's manor house that Buffy had carried Willow from. The only thing missing was Travers' body. Willow was in the corner, rocking herself, her head striking the wall regularly. As she had before, Buffy knelt beside her and placed one hand on the wall to cushion Willow's head. "Will?" Buffy asked hopefully.

"I'm bad, I'm bad, I'm bad," Willow repeated. She clawed at her face.

"You're not bad, Willow," Buffy told her. She slid her arm between Willow's forearms and her body and gently forced Willow's arms down. She wasn't surprised that Willow's eyes were solid black. "You're not bad," Buffy repeated. "You made some mistakes," she added gently, "but they don't matter." She tried to turn Willow's face toward her own.

Dawn approached them. She was glowing, and dispelled the gloom around Willow when she knelt in front of her. Willow stopped rocking when Dawn put a hand on her knee.

"Are you going to kill me?" Willow asked hopefully.

"No," Dawn answered.

Willow turned to face Buffy. "Are you going to kill me?"

"No," Buffy told her.

"Why not? I'm bad," Willow said again.

"You're not bad," Buffy and Dawn said in unison.

"You don't know what I've done," Willow cried.

"You're not bad, Will," Buffy repeated. She moved her hand up to hold Willow's cheek.

"Willow," Dawn said gently, and Willow looked up at her. "You can come home with us now, if you'll give up your magick."

"Or?" Willow asked.

"Or you can stay here and keep the magicks. It's your choice."

Willow looked from one of them to the other. "You're not going to kill me?" she asked.

"No," the sisters answered together.

"Home?" Willow asked hopefully.

"Home with us," Buffy answered. "With me. I love you, Willow. I want you to come with me, but if you can't, I'll still love you."

"Really?" Willow asked in a small voice.

"Really," Buffy affirmed.

Willow squinted at Dawn. "Can you make it stop hurting?"

"Yes."

"Even if I keep my magick?"

"Even then." Dawn's voice was low. "But you have to decide what you want."

"I want to go home," Willow said finally.

"Close your eyes," Dawn directed. "You, too, Buffy."

The flash of whatever Dawn did was blindingly bright to their closed eyes. After a few moments, Dawn told them, "It's okay now."

Buffy opened her eyes. They were in the hospital. Willow was in her arms. She looked at Willow and broke into a huge smile. Her arms were completely healed. The gauntness was gone from Willow's face, and when her eyes opened, they were the green that Buffy loved.

"I thought we were going home," Willow said softly.

Buffy kissed her frantically. Willow wrapped her arms around Buffy and kissed her back. Applause made them separate. Willow was bright red. She pushed herself up. Buffy slid off the bed and landed in Dawn's lap. Dawn pushed her to the floor, then helped her up before standing up herself. Xander nearly knocked them both down in his hurry to reach Willow. He hugged her so hard that she squeaked. Anya was behind him, and piled on. Soon, everyone but Aislin was in on the group hug.

Giles was the first to peel off. He left the room in search of a doctor who would discharge Willow. Soon everyone but Buffy had detached themselves from Willow. Buffy held on to Willow's hand. Willow's thumb stayed in motion on Buffy's hand.


	21. Chapter 21

The ride back to the Summers house was crowded. Anya and Giles shared the front seat with Xander. Willow, in a set of scrubs, sat on Buffy's lap. Dawn was squeezed into the middle. Tara was on Aislin's lap. Everyone was talking animatedly. Willow listened more than she talked. She sneaked looks at Aislin and Tara, and pieced together some of what had transpired since she and Buffy had necked on the garden bench.

At the house, they ordered pizzas. Buffy refused to let go of Willow's hand. After everyone ate, the euphoria wore off and they all started to droop. Dawn went to bed without prompting. Giles left next. Xander offered Tara a ride to the dorm, and she and Aislin left with them.

Willow and Buffy were alone. As much as they loved their family, it had been far too long since the two of them had time for themselves.  
Willow grazed Buffy's cheek below the dirty gauze with her index finger. "What happened?" she asked.

"I don't remember. Picked it up chasing you. Not you, the demon." Buffy stopped. "That is way too confusing." She brightened. "Maybe Dawn fixed it."

Willow lifted one corner of the tape and removed the covering. Beneath it, a line of butterfly bandages showed where Buffy had been injured. There was nothing there now, and Willow peeled each small bandage from Buffy's face. When she finished, she kissed each spot. Then she leaned against Buffy. "What really happened?"

"I don't know all of it." Buffy let go of Willow's hand so she could hold her with both arms. "I'm just glad it's over."

"Mmm hmm," Willow agreed.

"You tired?"

"A little. I really want a shower."

"That would feel good," Buffy agreed.

"You'll have to let go for a few minutes."

"Not gonna happen." Buffy squeezed Willow gently. "We'll just have to shower together. Conserve water and all that."

"You still want me?" Willow sounded surprised.

"Oh yeah." Buffy put two fingers under Willow's chin and tugged gently. When she could see Willow's face, she said fervently, "I love you, Willow. I want you right here, in my arms, forever." She kissed Willow softly.

Buffy laid over on the couch and twisted so she was on her back. She pulled Willow along until the redhead was lying on top of her. The continued to kiss, shifting until they were comfortable. Their kisses became more heated. Buffy reveled in the feeling of Willow stretched against her. It felt right, and Buffy realized that she was warm for the first time since she had forced her way from her grave months before. The sweep of Willow's tongue through her mouth gave her shivers of anticipation. 'Who knew kissing could feel so goooooood?' she wondered.

Willow concentrated on kissing Buffy. It felt wonderful. Buffy was eagerly kissing her back. It was something she had dreamed about for years. Willow shifted her hips enough to slide a thigh between Buffy's, and smiled at the sound it elicited. Buffy raised the thigh Willow was resting on enough to get a moan in return. Their kisses escalated in intensity again. Buffy pulled Willow more tightly against her. She left her mouth and kissed along her jaw to her ear. "Let's go upstairs," she whispered before sucking Willow's earlobe into her mouth. "Take a nice hot shower, towel each other off."

Willow's answer was to roll off Buffy and stand beside the couch. She looked down at Buffy, then took off for the steps. "Last one in's a rotten egg," Willow sang as she ran up the stairs.

Buffy was right behind her. "No fair," she protested when she entered the bathroom.

Willow was adjusting the water temperature. "Is too. You have all that Slayer speed and stuff." Satisfied with the water, she pulled the scrub shirt over her head. She untied the drawstring and let the pants fall to the floor, then stepped into the shower. She stood in the spray for twenty seconds, then peeked around the shower curtain. "You coming in or what?" she asked Buffy.

"Socks," Buffy answered as she pulled off one, then the other. She stepped into the shower and immediately enfolded Willow in her arms.

Willow pecked Buffy's lips, then threw her head back so the water would run through her hair. The motion moved her breasts against Buffy's. Both made a satisfied noise at the contact.

They stayed in the shower long after they were both clean. The hot water felt good, and touching each other under it felt better. They toweled each other dry, lingering in a few places. Wrapped in towels, they took turns combing and braiding each other's hair. Buffy put the comb aside while Willow turned toward her.

They were suddenly awkward with each other. Willow reached out and took Buffy's hand. "You okay with this?"

"Just nervous," Buffy smiled. "I never. I mean."

"I know what you mean," Willow said. "We can wait."

"I don't want to wait," Buffy answered. She leaned toward Willow.

"Good." Willow leaned in to meet her. They kissed tentatively, separated. "C'mere," Willow said. She laid down and tugged Buffy down next to her so they lay face to face. They kissed again, surely this time, but slowly. Willow moved closer to Buffy. She slid one arm under Buffy's neck, and let her fingers play along the Slayer's shoulders. With the other, she caressed Buffy's cheek.

As their kisses escalated, the towels became an impediment. Buffy impatiently pushed Willow's away. She stopped kissing Willow long enough to sit up and throw hers onto the floor. She returned to Willow. Buffy straddled her and leaned down to kiss her again. Willow pulled her down onto her body. The pleasure of Willow's naked body against her own took Buffy's breath away. She jerked her mouth away from Willows and gasped in a little air. She was seeing stars. "Oh god, Willow," she moaned into the air near Willow's ear.

Willow's hands moved restlessly over Buffy's body. The play of Buffy's muscles as she moved had always fascinated her. To feel them, and to make Buffy sound like she did just from these curious explorations turned her on more than she thought possible. Her mouth moved along Buffy's neck, her collarbone, wherever she could reach. Finally, Buffy's mouth returned to Willow's. Her kisses were hungry and deep but unhurried.

When they broke for air, Willow rolled them over so she was on top. She began kissing Buffy's neck, licking and nipping her way down to the blonde's chest. Her tongue moved quickly on Buffy's skin, tasting each millimeter as she circled closer to Buffy's nipple. When she drew it into her mouth, Buffy moaned again. Willow smiled and continued, moving out and away until she reached Buffy's other nipple.

Willow could smell Buffy's arousal long before she reached its source. She didn't hurry, despite Buffy's efforts to move her along. Willow mapped her lover, noting each moan, gasp and sigh. When Buffy reached down to touch herself, Willow intercepted her hand. Their fingers interlocked, and as tightly as Buffy squeezed, it was never hard enough to hurt Willow.

The first sweep of Willow's tongue along Buffy's sex made them both shudder. Buffy's hips bucked and she asked, "Will, what are you doing?"

"Trust me," Willow answered, and set to work. Not that it was work. It was Buffy, and she tasted better than she smelled, and this, Willow thought, was better than any of the thousands of fantasies she had about Buffy over the years. Willow was as slow and thorough in this task as she had been reaching it.

Just before Buffy's orgasm started, she pushed herself against Willow's busy tongue. She shook and shuddered silently, then went limp. Willow made one last sweep with her tongue before crawling up Buffy's body.

When Buffy came to, Willow was smiling at her. Buffy pulled her into a passionate kiss. When they broke for air, Buffy looked at Willow and said, "Wow."

Willow, still grinning, nodded. "I'll see your wow and raise you an oh my."

Buffy laughed. "That was amazing. What was it?"

Willow's smile faded and her brow furrowed. "You never?"

"No. I'm real sure I'd remember that."

"Poor baby." Willow stroked Buffy's cheek. "You have a lot of catching up to do."

"I wanna make you feel like that, too, Will, but I don't know how."

"Touch me." Willow took Buffy's hand and guided it between her legs.

Buffy's eyes widened again. "You're so wet."

"Because of you." Willows eyes closed for a moment and she released a small sigh.

Buffy turned them so Willow was on her back. She stretched against Willow's side. Her hand moved without guidance as Willow's hand moved up her arm to the back of her head. Willow pulled Buffy down into another kiss. When Willow pulled away, Buffy's mouth stayed in motion, trailing small kisses along Willow's jaw and down her neck. She licked Willow's chest, delighted at the salty tang of her sweat. Buffy sucked at Willow's erect nipple to the rhythm of the redhead's rolling hips.

"Oh god, oh Buffy, oh god, fuck me," Willow moaned.

As surprised as Buffy was at Willow's language, she was more surprised at how much it excited her. She slid her middle finger into Willow.

"More, oh god," Willow panted. She reached down and began to rub her clit.

Buffy slid her thumb under Willow's hand and entered Willow with her index finger, too. The sound of her fingers sliding in and out of Willow fascinated her nearly as much as the sight of Willow. Sweaty, eyes closed, head thrown back, breathing harshly. When Willow contracted around her fingers, Buffy bent to her breast again.

Willow's hips stayed up off the bed as she came. She thrust against Buffy's hand and exhaled a long "oh." When her hips came down, Buffy stayed inside Willow, feeling the waves of her contractions against her fingers. When they slowed, Buffy rotated her fingers inside Willow. She came again, silently, her hips rising from the bed.

Buffy removed her fingers from Willow. Willow was panting. Her eyes were closed, so she missed the show of Buffy smelling her fingers, tasting them, then sucking them into her mouth and removing all of Willow's juices from them. When she finished that, she lay down beside Willow and pulled her close. "Love you," she said quietly.

Willow yawned. "Love you too." She shifted, moving her head to Buffy's shoulder.

Buffy didn't think she'd be able to sleep, but pulled the sheet up over them. She kissed Willow one last time before closing her eyes.

Buffy woke up slowly. She was warm and comfortable and Willow was beside her. She opened her eyes. Her room was bright, and Willow's bare shoulder was in her view. Buffy lifted the sheet enough to confirm that they both were nude. A huge grin spread across her face. She let her fingertips play on Willow's back, and was delighted when Willow snuggled closer.

For the first time since long before she died, Buffy was happy. The only cloud on her horizon was that her mother hadn't lived to see it, and Buffy started a to do list with 'take flowers to Mom's grave.' 'Later,' she added. 'Much later.' Because Willow was here, naked, and just that thought excited her.

"No," Willow said crossly. "No flies, no frogs."

Buffy giggled. Willow twitched once, then opened her eyes. The first thing she saw was Buffy's smile. "Morning."

"Good morning," Buffy answered.

Willow leaned up for a kiss and Buffy obliged her, slowly and thoroughly. A knock on the door startled them.

"Buffy, can I come in?" Dawn called.

Buffy sighed and rearranged the sheet over them. "Yeah."

Dawn opened the door slowly and covered her eyes. Willow giggled.

"It's okay, Dawn."

Dawn peeked between two fingers before dropping her hand. "Hey, guys."

"No guys here," Willow teased her, and Buffy snickered.

Dawn grinned at them. "You know what I mean. Anyway, are you getting out of bed today or should I go find somebody to feed me?"

"What time is it?" Buffy asked.

"Ten-thirty. And I checked the refrigerator, but we all ready ate everything Xander bought when we got home," Dawn told her.

"Give us some time to get dressed and we'll get lunch or brunch or whatever, and then we'll get some groceries. And shouldn't you be in school anyway?" Buffy asked.

"It's Saturday."

"Really?"

"Really." Dawn affirmed. "Could you guys hurry it up? I'm really hungry."

"The sooner you leave, the sooner we'll get up," Buffy told her.

Dawn left without answering. She pulled the door closed.

"Well, that shoots my plan all to pieces," Buffy said.

"You had a plan?" Willow asked.

"Uh huh." Buffy pulled Willow onto her. They both sighed. "I was gonna do this." Buffy kissed Willow. "All day."

"I like your plan." Willow murmured.

"And now it's been foiled." Buffy kissed Willow lightly. "So I guess we better get up and feed the monster child, or we'll never have any peace."

Willow rolled off Buffy. They got out of bed. Willow picked her towel up from the floor and wrapped it around herself. "Be right back," she told Buffy.

She entered her room cautiously, in case someone was using it, but it was empty. Willow dressed quickly and returned to Buffy's room. Buffy was making the bed. Willow stood in the doorway and admired the view. Buffy twitched the comforter even, and stood up. "I know you're there," she said before turning around.

"Good." Willow answered. She stayed in the doorway, waiting for Buffy.

Buffy crossed the room quickly. They shared a few kisses before Dawn interrupted them again.

"C'mon guys, I'm hungry!" she yelled up the stairs.

Buffy and Willow kissed one more time before heading downstairs hand in hand.

-30-


End file.
